Raising Our Pod Full of Little Peas

16 Weeks Left and a Rough Start to 2012

2012-01-08T16:06:00.000-08:00

Still a girl!

My sweet baby girl

I have started this several times and retyped it trying to get it out correctly. Brylee hasn't really moved at all that I can feel and this is very abnormal for me so I have had some concerns the last 5 weeks. Well, Nate and I went January 2nd for a routine ultrasound at the perinatologists office only to find out our sweet baby girl has 2 choroid plexus cysts on her brain. One is small and one rather large. The peri told us this raised our chances significantly for downs syndrome and Trisomy 18. It was horrible news. I felt like someone kicked all the air from my lungs. I ran out of his office crying after he urged me to do an amnio. I still haven't decided whether to take the risk of miscarrying her all to know if she is healthy or not. We already have one child with a genetic disorder.....I thought you could only win the lotto once. Don't get me wrong, Wyatt is the most amazing kid. We love him so so much, but the things he has to live through are so hard for him and us. I cannot imagine something with even greater challenges. It breaks my heart into a million pieces for my baby girl. I go to my regular OBGYN Dr tomorrow and we have another ultrasound scheduled for one week to check even further for any other soft markers as well as to see if the cysts have gone down at all. If you have a story to share regarding these cysts, good or bad, please do so. Thanks so much in advance for any thoughts and prayers. xoxo

A Non- Biased, Study Based Look at Paleo Eating

2011-12-15T13:44:00.000-08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleolithic_diet This was something I stumbled on today and it gave a very balanced look at the paleo diet giving both good and bad, backed by studies of cultures, studies of animals, comparison to other highly looked upon diets such as vegetarian and Mediterranean. It was a great, LONG, well-worth it read. I came away feeling sure that Paleo can be a good sustainable way of eating for me.

Raising a Cavebaby!!

2011-12-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

I have been spending the last month working strictly on my diet to get TIGHT control of my sugars this pregnancy. Why didn't I start sooner than a month ago....well that is when morning sickness ended and that is when I finally had the strength to get serious, research and work hard on getting good control. My husband has been doing Crossfit again for a few months now to get his body back into good shape and he mentioned the paleo eating that crossfit promotes. Apparently he had been reading a lot about the nutrition Crossfit promotes via their blog app. He said that it was very healthy and clean eating. I decided to do some hardcore searching and reading. I learned a lot. I added the app to my phone and started getting the updates each day which are encouraging to me. I read a lot about paleo pregnancies and how safe or healthy it was as sometimes you will end up in ketosis on a paleo diet. Everything I researched had plenty of studies to back that it seemed to be not only safe, but beneficial as it keeps insulin levels low which is much safer and healthier for the baby. There are some amazing things here at The Primal Parent, here at One Fit Mom, here at Growing Up Paleo and lastly IVillage Paleo.

I had been eating fairly clean anyways, but more vegetarian with lots of fruits, veggies, fresh grains, legumes and beans. This was working out okay for me until I became pregnant. The game changed almost immediately. My sugars started climbing at a scary rate to the point I almost needed to get on meds. Waking up with 151 as your morning fasting number is NOT good. I thought I was doing all the right things, but when you truly have a blood sugar problem, grains are not your friend. No matter how stone ground that wheat was or how healthy they claim the beans and barely are, my blood sugars said otherwise. They were not healthy for ME. I knew I had to do something drastic and fast. As much as I don't love meat much, I switched full fledged almost immediately to paleo eating and my sugar started coming down fast. If I had been on meds, I woulda been sick. Thankfully I wasn't yet. My fasting sugars are now in the 80s!!!!! Woooo. Midday, post parandials, etc are typically around 90-100. This is such a difference from 200 post parandial. My body loves this food.

Now if you have read my blog any length, you know my immune system is complete and utter crumbly crap, right??? WRONG, I fixed my immune system. I have always joked that I was a sticky fly trap for viruses. I caught everything all winter long, running fevers several times a month between November and April. Not the case this year. Guess how many viruses I have had since November......1 teeny cold! My kids have ran fevers, had sore throats, friends have been puking and I have been enjoying perfect, robust health. I also have been healthy enough to return to working out. I am currently getting into decent enough shape to start modified Crossfit WOD's. Normally, working out is the icing on the cake that kills my immune system the rest of the way off after the sugar and grains attack it first. The proof is in the pudding baby!

So what do I eat? Healthy, clean, primal.....no really, what do I eat? Good food! lobster, shrimp, fish, chicken, turkey, lean ground beef, vegetables galore, fruits in moderation(depending on the type), almonds/almond flour, cashews, walnuts, coconut milk/oil/shreds/flour, lots of amazing recipes to be had with these ingrediants. All you are cutting is beans, legumes, and grains. We aren't adapted for grains for the most part, especially if you are insulin resistant to any degree. Some of my favorite new recipes come from Primal Palate, Here, and Paleo Mama. Yes I still get some sweets and baked goods and guess what, my blood sugar barely moves a notch from these amazingly better than regular choclate chip cookies. My kids prefer them to the old regular I used to make with stone ground wheat. Another one we love is this banana bread and this carrot cake. As you can see, being primal, some sweets can still be on the menu. Another thing to note is you can still have pasta, spaghetti squash pasta that is. You can also have rice, cauliflower rice hehe, and mashed potatoes, I mean mashed caulflower that tastes just like potatoes! The beautiful part is, they WILL not spike your blood sugar much at all even with a proven insulin issue.

Since eating this way, Nate has lost 10 lbs and counting and I have accidently lost 3 lbs(125 to 122) while pregnant between my last 2 Dr.'s appts. My Dr was extremely supportive of this eating considering my blood sugar issues and told me just to try to eat more so I gain by next time. I eat tons, but this is my body's way of getting to the ideal cavewoman's size I believe!

15 Weeks With Brylee

2011-12-06T18:24:00.000-08:00

And........we have some definate bumpage baby!!

Pregnancy Pick Me Up

2011-12-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

So, I may only be hitting my second trimester, but I was feeling frumpy. My mom came over and fixed that for me. I feel "oh so pretty," now! A fresh, springy new haircute was definately in order:) Oh and don't mind the bunny ears, that's just proof my kids love me! haha

Deck The Halls with Crazy Kids and Christmas Trees!

2011-11-28T08:51:00.000-08:00

My honey

Our tree is hiding behind us all

Jax in front of our tree

Playing on the big teeter totters

All the kids with their cousin Joie

Jaxxon's first candy cane!

Kenna got to top the tree this year

Tada! All 7 kiddos:) Next year lil Brylee should be about 7 months old in the christmas tree pics!

Nate and I

Ornament time

Jax helpin' mama decorate

We are going to celebrate Advent this year with the Advent Storybook, by Antonie Schneider and using a newly bought Advent Calendar:) There are 24 stories in the book to go along with the advent calendar so each night of December we will read one story at bedtime! We will also be lighting one candle on our Advent wreath each Sunday evening after dinner and reading from Celebrating the Christian Year about the reasoning for the lighting of each candle. With shopping out of the way, we can truly appreciate the season for what it is.

Thanksgiving:0)

2011-11-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

The kids made this edible turkey arrangement:0) I LOVE it, it turned out so cute and everyone helped, down to the 2 yo. It was ta-ta-ta-tasty tasty too :0)

Pretty eggs

The tables with everyone eating

Snow princess sandy!

Thanksgiving turned out so nice. It was wonderful to have Kayla as my kitchen helper this year. She was so eager to get in there and help and it lightened the load quite a bit:) The food turned out amazing and the company was wonderful too. Today is on to deckin the halls for Christmas! Yay, off to get busy working!

Fall Table Cloth for Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T15:20:00.000-08:00

I made some extra table cloths for thanksgiving because we needed more.

I really love the colors, they feel so fall festive, but this should work year round as well.

Introducing Bryleann Renahe

2011-11-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

Her nub!(hand arrow is pointing to it) Completely flat. Her potty shot, revealed a hamburger as well. I feel VERY confident in the correctness of the u/s especially since I felt deep down she was a girl right from the start. I told many people this and my mother's instinct was correct.

SHE is super healthy, the NTS showed a negligible risk of anything like Down's Syndrome or any Trisomies. She had her little leggies crossed and we had to wiggle her ladylikeness to get to see the goods! She looks beautiful. She is measuring a half week ahead! I feel so blessed. How lucky am I, 4 and 4, an even score?!!!!

Our Family Holiday Photos 2011

2011-11-17T16:56:00.000-08:00

These were all taken 11/11/11 by my bestie. I think she did a great job. I am super happy with them all. Happy Holidays from our family to yours! Xoxoxo

3 Month Bump with Sweetpea 8

2011-11-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

for comparison sake.....2 months

and now, through puking and all, I have still managed to gain some real bumpage in the past month!

My Dad is Making an Effort

2011-11-16T19:33:00.000-08:00

My Dad, sister, brother and I met up today at the park for an afternoon of laughter, feeding ducks and catching up. The cousins got to enjoy each other and my Dad got to work on remembering ALL those names as he put it! Hehe, I am so glad he wanted to do this and that he wants to see us and spend time with us:) It means so much after all these years. Next week, its Thanksgiving with him at my brother's house and I am so happy for that. It will be our first one together in 7 years! God is good!

Working on Those Handmade Christmas Gifts

2011-11-16T19:16:00.000-08:00

A double crochet scarf

All rolled up with a single row crochet bow!

Rag quilt table runner

I think this turned out super cute. I have enough leftover to do one more similar to this, I plan to get to that tomorrow, but I'm also working on handmade table cloths for Thanksgiving which I will post as soon as I finish. So much to do! Ready to get something else on the crochet hook too:)

Yesterday's Prenatal Apt

2011-11-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

I was expecting the most boring, routine visit yesterday along with an apt for my Nuchal Translucency scan within the next week or two. Instead, I got a mad Dr who couldn't understand why I didn't call him 2 weeks ago, the day I passed out home alone with my 3 smallest kiddos. I told him, I had no one to drive me down, no one to watch the babies and I figured I was just dehydrated severely from puking so much. I didn't want all the drama merely for an IV. He was not buying into it and was freaked out that it was possibly an arrthmia from my heart. So not 10 minutes after I arrive, I am being sent up to cardiology for another 24 hour holter monitor. Of course I have nearly 1000 PVC's everyday, but I have grown somewhat used to them and thus far I believe that is all this holter has captured.

I also found out that the nurse dropped the ball and never submitted paperwork to insurance for my nuchal trans scan and they are now waiting for emergency approval because low and behold I WAS further along as I thought I was. I thought my due date was May 31st based on when I thought I ovulated and my Dr somehow confused someone else's due date last time and marked that I was due sometime in June, thus the mix up in the nuchal trans scan as well. So come to find out the u/s put my due date at May 30th so that is my actual due date that he is keeping(looks like I was dead right on when I ovulated!) That makes me 12 weeks tomorrow YAY! I go back Monday for a follow up with cardiology after they look at this holter. We also now wait for insurance to approve the nuchal trans scan, but thankfully by the time I get in there for it, I should be plenty far along to be able to leave there with confidence as to the sex of the baby. They usually tell me around 12 weeks and have never been wrong so 13-14 weeks I am pretty sure will be VERY accurate. Update: My insurance already approved it and my apt is Tuesday, November 22 at 9:15am so we shall know the sex of the baby in 1 week. I will be 12 w6d so being that close to 13 weeks, I feel I can be pretty confident in what they tell me.

The only good news I got from the apt was listening to baby's heartbeat, which is always precious.......and I passed my 3 hour glucose tolerance test with flying colors. My 3 hour glucose numbers were fasting 88, 1 hour 97, 2 hours 93, 3 hours 81. What gives? My 1 hour had 50 mg less of the sugar and I was 155 afterwards. In any case the numbers on my 3 hour were excellent and I couldn't be happier about that. Overall, I have to be thankful for a Dr. who truly cares about me. I really love him and that is why he will soon be delivering his 3rd baby from our family. I have stuck with him since I was lucky enough to find him and I just know I couldn't have another baby without him!

Jaxxon Took His First Steps Today

2011-11-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

At 13 months and 3 days, my little preemie boy has finally taken his first steps! He took 2 steps without holding onto anything today on the patio of my Father in laws house. He was so proud of himself. I am one happy Mama today. Its the little things that make me so happy! :) Hope everyone enjoys this beautiful Sunday!

Working Ahead of Time

2011-11-12T16:20:00.000-08:00

We decided to work ahead of schedule this year. We are almost completely done with Christmas shopping. We have 4 birthdays in January, which almost always become very neglected as we are usually swimming in holiday debt by then. This year we wanted it to be different. We realized if we shopped now, we would be actually have money saved by January to be able to celebrate those birthdays a little different than normal. We also realized that by shopping ahead, we get to enjoy no hustle or bustle during December. We will truly get to enjoy the season.

We will likely have a little extra during a time of year when we are normally pinching every penny to get the kids a few things they really want. In light of that, we will have more resources to help with food drives, toy drives, etc. We wanted to start our 1st Sunday of Advent with a nice family meal and the World Vision catalog to go through as a family. We want to prepare our kid's hearts for giving, not recieving, this season. We are looking into working a morning in a soup kitchen and a few other charitable things we usually do not have time or resources for in such a busy, expensive time of year. Its a very exciting feeling to already have gifts for Grandma's, Grandpa's, Aunts and Uncles, friends and teachers along with everything we wanted for the kids. We wanted a smallish Christmas. We had one last year and enjoyed it so much more than the hugely lavish ones. I feel my kids enjoy 1 toy they REALLY want and a few other items I wanted for them instead of an entire list of every little thing their hearts desired. The more there is, the less value each item seems to hold. Don't get me wrong, they are going to have a GREAT Christmas, very lucky kids.......just not overdone!

We are really planning a different celebration this year for the month of December that includes more thinking about others and helping and I do NOT write this here to brag or feel good about myself. I write this here to give ideas, encourage, inspire. Mostly though, these are the things I want to pass on to my children about the holiday season. Its fun to watch the kids grow from their own selfish desire towards empathy for those who have so much less and how we can help and that is the type of people I want to raise! They are really on the look out for ways to help in the community, bringing ideas to me daily and it melts me to see my kids growing into selfless, giving people.

Really Loved This and Wanted to Share

2011-11-09T17:19:00.000-08:00

So very very true. Its so bittersweet to look back.

This is TRULY Amazing

2011-11-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

It simply deserves its own post because ITS. THAT. GOOD!!!!! http://gettingthere.typepad.com/getting-there/2011/11/home-cooking-beef-stew-and-dumplings.html

Your kids, hubby, and any guests you invite for dinner will be drooling, no joke:) Try it!

Sorry For the Confusion

2011-11-08T16:13:00.001-08:00

I'm just comfortable here, this is home!

Religion or Legalism

2011-11-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

Religion, or legalism is the problem. When I step back, rip away all the "good wife, good mother, good this and that books," I actually miss having a relationship with God. I do believe. I don't know what I believe about the Bible at this point and time as I have read so much in reference to it that is annoying or discrediting, but I do know in my heart that God exists. I cannot go a day without praying several times "on accident," lately as I was just over everything and trying to step back from it all. I need to be able to pray and realized that it is so natural to me that its like drinking water during the day. I just feel that God has to be real, up there. I don't know much else at this point as I don't really believe much more than that right now.

Religion is definately the problem and even the Bible which I certainly don't take 100% literally anymore says "James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." This is merely one example of many I could pull up. Basically what I am getting at is that a relationship with your God, whoever he may be, is what is important and for me......essential to live. Its also being a good person, not some crazy rules about skirts, having as many children as your body can produce, etc. I cannot believe that a loving God would be in Heaven, angry at me for being bisexual if that is how I was created by Him. I'm definately not trying to sit here and toot my own horn, but I feel I am a generally good person, practicing good deeds as an example to my children and being a charitable, kind and thoughtful type of mother and that is what I feel is important. I don't care about prescribed rules of religion. In fact, I want nothing to do with them, yet I believe in my heart of hearts God must exist because trying to shut Him out for even more than a day is impossible for me. It literally cannot happen. I have kept all this private until now because I really thought for a day there, maybe even 2, that I didn't believe in God at all. While following "Religion," I missed the entire point and made myself miserable too.

Hospitality

2011-11-06T14:54:00.000-08:00

So Nate and I are challenging ourselves to more hospitality. It's a lost art, an important one for keeping close relationships with family and friends. This is a tough one for me right now in this season of my life(throwing up daily), but as I begin to feel better, this should come much easier. We are working on inviting someone, friends or family, each week for dinner. Its fun, helps us expand our cooking skills and friendships! Tonight we are hosting a friend I have known since jr highschool. I am excited to see her. It will be fun to catch up since she moved away for a year and is now back to the area. I have no clue who we will ask to come by next week, but it will be someone! An added benefit is cleaning the house super good for company which means it stays nicer during the week. I am working hard on self improvement, that's mainly gratitude for the real important things in life. What matters is close relationships with family and friends. My kids, my husband, my animals, walking in the fresh air pushing along my babies even while dry heaving. The all day sickness will pass along like it did with all the other children and I will soon have a cute belly to replace it. I have to chose to live in gratitude each day, each hour, each minute. It doesn't come naturally, but someday with practice, it will.

Fresh Off the Crochet Hook!

2011-11-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

I think Jax really loves it:)

Turkey Day is on the Way

2011-11-03T13:27:00.000-07:00

So is our first possibility of snow :O tonight! EEeeep:) Yay

A Fun Project for the Day

2011-11-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

I spent today doing this lap quilt. I love the fabrics and while they feel fallish, they will work year round as well. On a really good note, I found my crochet hooks! Now its time to start making Christmas gifts......the best!

School Update

2011-11-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

I promised this post a while back, but life happened so here I am! So, the school the kids are attending is absolutely perfect, NO....I'm not being sarcastic! This school is seriously the best school ever. Its as adorable and picturesque outside as the inner workings are.

Kayla has adjusted perfectly and quickly made rank to one of the most popular girls in 6th grade. My phone rings off the hook for her when she is not in school. She has a birthday party or outing of some sort she attends almost every weekend! She made lead part*(Belle) in the school play of Beauty and the Beast, a musical. She is really enjoying school and I couldn't be happier for her. Her teacher is amazing as well.

Wyatt, oh Wyatt......this was what my perfect little mind dreamt of for 5 years while I homeschooled him. He is in a special day class for mild kids. He has kids from regular classrooms who come in for just one subject through the day as well. He is mingling with peers who are similar to himself with mild aspergers or just learning issues. He has made quick friends with 2 kids in his class and stolen the hearts of Kayla's friends on the playground and during breakfast and lunch:) He has yet to be bullied or have any social problems. He is THRIVING! I am ecstatic. His teacher is truly a miracle, so is the aid in the class. They send new things home with all sorts of creative devices to keep pushing Wyatt along in math and reading and spelling. Its amazing to see the academic achievement he is capable of. He is scoring 80-100% each week on spelling tests with challenging words. His reading is improving and his math.....omg I cannot believe the way his teacher has creatively taught him to do very high level math. He is dividing difficult 2-3 digit numbers, multiplying the same and I just couldn't be happier. They move along at his personal pace. He is also getting speech, occupational therapy and physical therapy which are things I cannot provide for him at home. I could squeal with happiness for the burdens lifted off me and the pure joy I feel for Wyatt.

Everett, much like Kayla is a social butterfly. He has lots of friends, does extremely well academically and has a wonderful teacher. He does his homework quickly and easily without help and loves to read. He is enjoying school a great lot because of all the friends he has made.

Tanner had some severe adjustment issues. I won't lie. The beginning was tough and I almost brought him home by himself for the year. I pursued a new teacher that was a K/1 combo(hes 1st grade but VERY immature socially) and this was the absolute perfect fit for him. The crying stopped. He quickly became attached to his current teacher and she gives me regular progress reports of how well he is doing socially and academically. It makes me so happy. She has nicknamed him "boots," because he is my little cowboy who wears nothing but his cowboy boots to school each day. They have made him quite popular and other kids have now acquired their own pairs:) hehe.

Hands down, school has been the single best decision for my children ever.....but now was the right timing! I don't regret homeschooling, in fact, I loved it! I still do "schooly" stuff with my babies I have at home all day. Its nice to see my kids flourishing though and moving to a new stage of life. We are all happy and this school couldn't be better, I mean that and how many people can say that about a public school? We are lucky!

Trunk or Treat and a Fall Festival

2011-11-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

Kayla the Corpse Bride

Buzz, I mean Wyatt

Ghostly Prisoner

Tan the Po Po

Madelynn/Sleeping Beauty, and she really does love to sleep!

Jaxxon as Baby Bear

Fall Festival, cotton candy, yumm

The Entire Crazy Gang

Kenna was waiting for cotton candy!

Lexi, Mae, and Kenna, cousins!

Sis with Leah

Kenna as Belle and Madelynn :0) Best friends, sisters AND princesses!

So we double dipped and went to two different local church's two nights in a row. Sunday night, it was trunk or treating at the Catholic church and last night, it was a Fall Festival at the Baptist church we were attending for 6 months. It was nice to see everyone, though we often see everyone as our boys attend Karate there every week. Of course, we got a million, when you coming back to church questions. I just smiled and nodded and told them all that I'm too sick for now. I am just too chicken to say more than that. Some of the kids were upset and begging to go Sunday. I might let them?? I don't want to stand in their way. We shall see! Overall though, a really fun few nights with lots of treats~!!

I Put on a Smile!

2011-10-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

I forced myself to go to our annual Halloween party at our friend's house and I am SO glad I did. Getting out with my amazing hubby, kidless, was a good idea. I felt good all evening and never puked once. It was a really fun, puke free time! Maybe I need to try and force myself to get together and go somewhere more often to combat the pukes:0)

Pumpkin Carving and Halloween Fun

2011-10-29T13:34:00.000-07:00

The pics speak for themselves. Pumpkin carving was fun and I even managed to muster a green sea sick smile with my dirty wittle baby Jax in arms:) Toughing out these feelings(nausea that is) during holidays is definately hard. I am glad for the distraction though!

Late, But Still Posted

2011-10-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

Belly picture from the day I turned 8 weeks. I am probably thinner this week simply because 9 weeks has been the most puking I have ever done during any pregnancy. I am SICK, I mean, really sick this week. I passed out alone with my 3 little ones 3 days ago, when I woke up on the floor, I realized they were playing with a jar of pickled jalapenos and a knife. It was very scary. I suppose I was severely dehydrated and that's why it happened. I did call my dr and he was supposed to call in zofran for me yesterday which never happened so now I get to harass them on Monday and beg for the meds. I also got the call that I failed my 1 hour glucose tolerance test....like miserably failed it soooooo it looks like I go for the 3 hour as soon as I feel I can do it without puking. Ah the joys of pregnancy. To be very honest, being an unplanned pregnancy, this one has been really tough on me emotionally. I feel like a spoiled brat to even say it, but I am not coming to terms to well with this. Being so sick is just adding to the misery 10 fold. If I could, I would cryogenically freeze this baby for 5 years until I felt more ready for it. This is just tough. From my Dr's best guess, it looks as if I had gotten pregnant while still on my period so for those who chart to avoid, good luck! I thought I knew my body pretty well and we avoided during the "fertile" time like normal, but this time my fertile time came a whole week earlier than it was supposed to. :( I know I will love this sweet little baby when it gets here, I just truly hate pregnancy and believe this will be my last. Nate and I are considering options right now to either do an IUD or have him get a vasectomy. If any of you have used an IUD, please give me your thoughts and opinions about it. I also would like to know which one you had, Paraguard or Mirena and your likes/dislikes. Thanks so much!

My Current Work in Progress

2011-10-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

During morning sickness, I have found I must keep my mind busy at all times or I will puke almost nonstop as I notice every little smell, speck of dirt and so on. This is the project I chose to get started on. It will be a striped baby blanket when its all finished. I picked unisex colors and plan to crochet edging based on the actual sex of the baby to make it more geared for boy or girl. If its a boy, I will edge it out with the green, but for a girl, I am thinking the purples in there would like nice against the green. We shall see. I will update when its complete. I just got a bunch of charms and fat quarters as well so this mama can get to some more quilting soon too!

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-23T15:45:00.000-07:00

We took our annual trip to the pumpkin patch, only this year we were "weekenders." My idea of the word is people who crowd into such places on weekends because we have never had to be THOSE people. We used to go on weekdays because we have always homeschooled. It was VERY crowded and hot and I puked 5X yesterday morning before even walking out the door, but we still managed to have a lot of fun being "weekenders." The kids are so ready for trick or treating. We have a Halloween party next friday night and they have Halloween parties in their classes and get to wear their costumes to school so they are looking forward to that:) Nate and I are also dressing up this year and I am pretty excited for our costumes, I will post pics from our Halloween party we are going to next week!

An Amazing Day: Only Took 7 Years

2011-10-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

Dad and I after 7 years

Sis, Bro-bot, Dad and Me

All the Grandbabies!

This Thanksgiving would have been exactly 7 years since the last time I saw my dad. During that time, my parents were going through a nasty divorce and I was being blamed for taking my mom's side if I even so much as talked to her. My dad was stressing me out so badly over a divorce he very much did NOT want, that I started experiencing panic attacks when he would call. Our relationship became very toxic to my emotional health, but still I kept trying to reason with him. I got counseling and still tried reasoning with him. Finally, at our last holiday together for a very long time(at the time I had no idea it would be), my dad told me he no longer could talk to me if I was going to continue talking to my mom. That was completely unfair. My mom and I have had our differences, but to blackmail out of a relationship with her??? I told him that if he really felt that way that he shouldn't call me anymore because I had no intention of ending my relationship with my Mom just because he said so.

So years have passed. I have been very sad, angry and hurt over this "little" issue and had my moments of crying. Yet, I had also sort of written him off as if he were dead because my dad is the kind of man who doesn't change his mind when he makes a decision like that. Fast forward to now; my grandpa died a month ago. It was hard on my dad as he was his caregiver and I think mortality is hitting him directly in the face. My entire family got together for the funeral Friday. I was invited and did not go. I think part of it was fear. I couldn't handle going and being rejected all over again. I didn't want to revisit that wound. I just couldn't.

Yesterday morning, my brother calls and says he is BBQing and asks me to come and see my dad. Deep down I desperately wanted to, but I was so scared he would be mean or reject me again. My sister was there though and she also had not seen him for 7 years and she said that I really should come. So, I went. It was an extremely emotional reunion. It was something I never expected to happen in my lifetime and yet as angry as I have been, I felt it all melt away when he embraced me and sobbed. I cried and clung to him, my dad, aged, grey, changed and yet comfortably the same familiar person he always was growing up. He followed me around and asked everything he could think of about my life and the kids. He genuinely seemed sorry and sad for all the time lost, all the missed births of children(including Jaxxon who was born 6 weeks early and landed my dads birthday), the holidays.......everything. I felt his sorry, he didn't even need to say it. We joked with each other just like old times. I introduced all the kids one by one and most were stand-offish. He's a stranger to my kids. It's gonna take much more time for them than it did for me. They haven't known him all these years. Kayla was 4 the last time she saw him so she said she kind of remembered him, but even still, she wasn't enthusiastic to go hang out with Grandpa too much. They were all polite, but uninterested. It wasn't an old familiar face for them and that makes me sad, but I hope that one day he will be.

I just hope he will never make the decision to reject us from his life again. I couldn't take it. It was an amazing day with a lot of tears, but I am so grateful for the chance. I am really hoping to spend more time with him this week before he goes back to his home in Arizona. I also hope to have this Thanksgiving together with him as it will be our first in 7 years. Looking forward to the new future and best of all, he will know this new baby from birth! Soon enough, I think he will become a household name:).........at least I hope.

A Scandalous Whine

2011-10-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am feeling awful, so very awful. I am so sick, so very sick. I am terribly dehydrated today and had my first breakdown and cry this morning over the morning sickness. I have literally had it. I want to feel better. I am desperate and if you know a secret that will stave this feeling off, PLEASE share! I am living off soups. I am thin and I am pale. My house is begging to be scrubbed. My kids are walking all over me because they can. :( C'mon week 13!!! Gosh that feels so very far away; that's Thanksgiving:(

We Have 1 BABY! Yayyy

2011-10-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, ultrasound was awesome, baby looks a little further along, one perfect wittle bean with arms and legs already. Yolk sac already appeared to be gone, and a perfect heartbeat! We find out the due date Monday. The tech refused to give me a picture....some lovely new protocol if you are before your second trimester??? Ridiculous. It was a great day though, I'm feeling much more happy and connected to the pregnancy than I was feeling previously. :-)

Waiting For

2011-10-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

Tuesday.......that will be our first ultrasound for this pregnancy. I have a strange hunch its twins. like. seriously. I have been extremely sick and I had major cramping for 3 days at ovulation time instead of 1 day. I have cramping on both sides like there is a corpous luteum cyst on each side. My uterus already feels heavy and huge(could be because this is my 12th pregnancy haha). Tuesday we will know for sure whats going on with the pregnancy, viability and how many. I wish the next 40 hours would vanish quick. I will be back soon with an update either way.

My Babies Turned 11, 4 and Almost 1 This Weekend

2011-10-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

Kenna on her new bike, 4 years old now~~yay

turned the homeschool room into a bedroom for Kayla while she was at shool and surprised her when she got home! Its such a huge, nice room. She was ecstatic!

Can't believe she is 11 already! So cool that her and Kenna share their special day though

Party favors

Get your circus popcorn

The bouncer

Nana made the delish cake!

Pin the nose on the clown upside down heheheehe

Hot potato

Wyatt the clown

Jaxxon with his 1st birthday cake! My baby turns 1, 10-10-10 !!!! Time flies

Kids eating

Kayla opening gifts

Kenna opening gifts

Baby Jaxxon opening his gifts!

I am so grateful to all our family and friends who came and made the kid's birthday an extra special one! Kayla and Kenna turned 11 and 4 on Sept 28th and Jaxxon turns 1 on 10-10-10 so we combined their birthdays to one big circus birthday bash! :) It was a fun day. I am glad I pulled it off before I started puking all day. :)

Oh the Nausea

2011-10-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

23 dpo, my line is on the right side:) darker than the control line

22 dpo my line(rt side) was alllmost as dark as the control line

According to darkening tests and terrible nausea, I think things are moving right along for now. I see Dr. T tomorrow morning and I'm hoping he schedules an early u/s for next week. I am 5 weeks 3 days today!

I Learned Something New

2011-09-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

http://debunkingchristianity.blogspot.com/2011/09/get-educated-about-homosexuality.html Go watch this short video! It gives scientific reasons that contribute to a person being gay. Its very interesting:)

POAS Addict, I think So

2011-09-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a self admitted addict to pee sticks. After 4 miscarriages, who can blame me? I am obsessed with seeing the line get darker. 9-15 dpo here. The LH tests are are not pregnancy hormone persay so they are naturally always darker so don't let those throw you off. Control lines are all on right side, my lines all on left. Today's cheapie(bottom) is as dark as the control line though! Looks like we might have a sticky bean. I am starting to let myself get excited!

Random Rant

2011-09-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

AVENT bottles. Why oh why does Jax have to love these peice of crap bottles? Seriously. They leak through the collar. I do them tigher, they leak more, looser, same result. What am I doing wrong or are these notorious for this? I am having to change Jaxxon's entire outfit many x a day because of these leaking pile of crap bottles.

Whoops

2011-09-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

10dpo

9dpo

This is how we told the kids!

I think I sat on the toilet seat! :O Didn't see this coming. Faint lines, but already nauseous(thats what tipped me off), yay me*insert sarcasm here*

Note: for the grammer police, yes I KNOW there shoulda been an apostrophe in we're and I put it there later after I took the pic. Blame it on preggo brain!

Large Family Dynamics

2011-09-17T11:09:00.000-07:00

Its interesting to think about how different the dynamics of a large family are in a very religious home vs a non-religious one. Many of the Xtian books I was reading were all about training my daughters to be good little caregivers and house cleaners. My boys have always done plenty of chores too, but mostly outdoors or garbage related as suggested in books like "Created for Work." I realized this summer after we had been living without religion for a bit that this was clearly the wrong way to look at things. Why couldn't Everett bake cookies if he wanted to? I had previously told him this was too girly. Shame on me. Why can't Kayla take the trash out and water the dogs while Wyatt does dishes and Tanner scrubs the toilets? This is cross-gendered training according to several Xtian books. What is really is though, is hogwash! So back to the summer, I decided, the kids had to be rotating through ALL chores whether previously assigned "boy" or "girl." Everything has become gender neutral when it comes to chores in our home. Things like baking and knitting are no longer off limits to the boys if they should choose to try them. Kayla is free to ride dirt bikes and play in the wash for hours catching frogs with her brothers. I never told her she couldn't but I placed imaginary pressure probably to be non supportive of such things.

I am seeing how ridiculous most of the anti-feminism garbage, really is. They claim it ruins the family unit and causes societal problems. I think its quite the opposite. What if I kept Kayla inside all the time helping with household chores and acting as a mother in training? She would grow up burned out and angry and resentful towards me. She would likely not want any of her own children because she would have felt she already raised a brood. Now this is not to say she doesn't have to help out with babies or small kids or clean on occasion, of course she does. It does mean though that the boys help equally with those same responsibilities and I can guarantee you one thing, if they have kids, they will be great, hands-on dads who KNOW how to change a diaper and hold a newborns head up. They will know how to make a bottle and fold laundry. These skills are valuable to all the kids regardless of whether they are boy or girl. They will all grow up well rounded people with many skills and talents, some that never could have developed if they were shoved behind the fundamentalist label of Xtianity.

I'm proud of the way our family is evolving and the funnest part of our lives right now with the kids having started school, is seeing how their unique styles(clothing and personality) are developing. Watching everything evolve rapidly as the kids(and me) get up to speed with mainstream life will be what I will be writing about next time.

Some Backstory

2011-09-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

Looking back, Babycenter was not solely to blame for my search into religion. Around the same time I had people harassing me from Babycenter, I also began homeschooling. In our area there is 1 homeschool group and its a Christian group with nearly 200 kids. Now, not all, but many of these families are extremely religious. Of course the woman are sweet as pie and many befriended me immediately as I always was on my best behavior for group activities. Why conform? Its much more complicated than it seems. I would have been allowed in the group had I not been a good little Christian Mama, but I would have stuck out like a sore thumb. My kids would have felt awkward knowing we were different. What did I care? Remember we were homeschooling for nearly 6 years, this was our social outlet for that duration. You know the old saying, "birds of a feather, flock together." Or maybe it should be birdswho flock together start growing similar feathers?? Ha

It almost felt like through the years many of the women, though they would never admit it, were competing to be as fundamentally Christian as you can come up with. Imagine us all sitting there glossy-eyed reading books from vision forum, whilst simultaneously sitting there with a giant pregnant belly and a toddler latched to our titties. Never once did I see a person or child wear a swimsuit that was less than a full one piece or more common would be girls in shorts and swim shirts. I think the group was feeding into each other and each one was measuring herself against the Christian yardstick of submission, sweet and gentle tone with their children, homeschooling, cooking from scratch, having impeccably clean homes and reading Christian self help books and knitting in her spare time. Each was measuring herself against that Christian woman many of you know about from Proverbs 31, the ol' woman of noble character. I wished I could be her at many points. I wanted to fit in and be the best Christian mother I knew how. I had the disadvantage(at least I thought it was at the time) of not having been raised Christian so I had to work harder, read more, learn more and do more in a very short amount of time to get up to speed. Through the years though this would backfire as I would slip back to my old self happily and then guilt-ridden I would jump back on the church wagon and straighten up. In time I got really good at playing both sides. I had the "Christian Mommy" facade going with a girlfriend on the side. I know I know. Social pressure does funny things to people. It wouldn't have ever been perceived as pressure had I not relied on this for my children's social interaction. I felt denying myself and continuing with the group was the best thing for my kids.

Let me back up and explain with why we wanted to homeschool to start with. We started because Nate's schedules flip and change with the wind so it enabled more family time.
I'm sure your wondering, why the HELL did you continue homeschooling and exposing yourself to a group that you knew was toxic to your well being and trueness to yourself? Well, that's because of Wyatt. He has Aspergers syndrome and the first time we tried putting the kids into public school, he was maintsteamed and was teased and bullied mercilessly. The following year we tried again, this time they went for a measly 3 days until we found out that they needed to ship Wyatt clear across the city to the dumpiest campus in our city for the special education class. I agreed he NEEDED special ed, but not in that school. My husband and I choose to live in nice neighborhoods in the upper part of town, not to put our kids into that area. So that was out......another year of the homeschool group. The next year we lived in the mountains and school wasn't an option there because of all the snow(this mama can't drive in snow) nor did they have any homeschool support groups there so we tried to stay somewhat connected to the group down here. I did tell my husband that the kids would be going to school this year if there was ANY way we could figure out a placement for Wyatt. Thankfully we moved into our new house and waited all summer for the schools to open so I could call and get the skinny on special ed. Man, how lucky we got. For the first time I was going to have a choice. They had a mild special ed program with Aspies and other regular kids who just need help. This is exactly what we wanted. He is mainstreamed for recess and lunch, but you see he isn't the scrawny little 40 lb 6 year old anymore. He's a big man/boy 95lb nearly 10 year old. Suddenly people aren't bullying, he has friends from his close-knit special ed class and he is gaining more sociability and confidence as he handles more situations. Its been so awesome and the best part is, I no longer feel any need to conform to the homeschool group. I am free at last!

These women read my blog and that sucks because they are lovely women. If they read this, they probably won't like me much anymore and that sucks too. It is nothing they did to me personally. It was me. I tried to be different to match them and I never should have. Maybe I will save one of them from continuing their lives in that fashion if they are indeed miserable as well?

But, like I have said in the past, all the reading, searching, living out and being with Christians and LDS women has challenged me to educate myself as to what I REALLY believe. Homeschooling was also great for that. Kids are naturally very skeptical so they constantly asked questions about the Bible, something said at church, the way kids acted in the homeschool group and other things I probably would have never thought of. I sought to find them real answers, objective answers. I started realizing how badly this would affect the kids later to come to me and realize I was a phony and I didn't want to live that way anymore either. I think I am equal to my husband. I like my house clean so I clean it. I like dressing stylish and sexy, I have a great body that I work hard at, why the hell not show it off? I love having my kids in school where I can get a break. I like spending money on frivolous magazines about celebrity gossip, taking vacations, eating out and even the occasional pedicure.I'm sick of breastfeeding so I'm almost done weaning my...GASP, 11 month old. And best of all, I don't want more kids right now at all and I don't feel guilty to say it out loud! TskTsk. :0)

MOVING

2011-09-10T18:24:00.001-07:00

http://happilymainstreaming.blogspot.com/ This is my new blog address.

Blog Intentions

2011-09-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

The intention of this blog is well thought out. I am leaving the other blog behind because quite frankly, I have outgrown it. I love my kids, but no longer refer to them as peas.....their getting a bit old for that. I am no longer searching in life. I have happily landed in mainstream land and I am likin' it despite all the negativity surrounding public schooling and every other thing I tried to be and wasn't. Who am I, I am me..... first and foremost. My seven kids play a large part in my life obviously, but they aren't all I am. I am done being controlled by religion, religious friends and church's. I have NO desire for brainwashing or indocrintation. I am over being impressionable and suppressed. I am over hating myself and hiding who I am. I am here to speak my mind loud and clear about whatever pops into my head be it politics, parenting, marriage, education, sex, religion or lack thereof, tolerance, etc. Welcome to this blog and I hope my old readers understand that I am not here to be "saved" or "helped." I don't need to be saved or fixed. I am not broken or lost or in need of rescue. If you think I am, then I think you are. I don't need followers who are in perfect agreement with all my sentaments, but I don't want daily links about why the bible is true or why I am wrong for not being a submissive christian lady raising a big family. I don't care if you think I am raising a generation of fuck-ups by no longer practicing religion. That isn't the purpose of this blog. I just want to talk openly without constant links from the "conversion police" or "missionaries" or whaever else you may call yourself. If god is up there, tell him to show himself because until then I am done believing. So if your not offended and willing to stick it out, "follow" my blog, if not, it was nice knowin ya!

School Update

2011-09-10T13:34:00.000-07:00

Lots have asked so I am here to tell. School is going AMAZING! We are super happy with our decision to put the kids into public school. I am so happy to be mainstreaming our family. Kayla is loving her 6th grade class despite having to switch teachers due to crowding. She is a social butterfly and mingling with friends all day has really changed her into an exciting and fun young woman:) I am so happy for her. Wyatt started out with some bumps, but those are smoothing out. Obviously Wyatt has special needs so he had to have an IEP and then was placed in an amazing mild pull out classroom. Most of the kids there have mild issues or just need extra help with their work so Wyatt is now starting to get used to his new class and really loving it. He is making friends which is something I am so grateful for. He is getting services like speech, OT, PT, and has a 1 to 6 ratio of teacher to student or aide which is giving him a huge advantage. Everett is also quite the social butterfly like Kayla. He has tons of friends and even has a little "girlfriend" who wrote him a "do you like me, check yes or no," note. Tanner had a VERY rough first 3 weeks including a move to another class because of crowding which was really hard on him as he has some issues adjusting. This past week he seems to finally be settling into a pattern with the school routine. His teacher says he is making good progress now that he isn't crying all day. I am so glad he is finally adjusting. He still needs some reassurance from me at home, but seems pretty happy now that he is making friends.

Nate and I are adjusted........and I mean WELL ADJUSTED!! We love our newfound freedom and quiet during the days. He is home 3 week days one week and 4 the next so our alone time has REALLY increased as the 3 little ones at home all nap and are so easy compared to 7. We are able to go to lunch many days and talk in quiet. Its sooooooo nice. We never could have imagined how great it is. We miss them, but we enjoy having time to shop and do fun things for a surprise somedays. For example, Thursday we went and bought a new 50" flatscreen to replace the 37" in our living room and got a new DVD player as well. We got it all set up and had a box of popcorn and a movie for the entire family ready to suprise them when we got home from school. It was awesome to see their faces. Its fun doing little things too, like baking them a yummy treat for after school or planning a short outing. We have less time, but its more quality. My relationship with Kayla is getting better too. We needed the time away from each other to miss each other as sometimes we would get annoyed with each other from being around each other too much.

There have been many unexpectedly wonderful aspects of school. The whole family is growing from the experience and its been in positive ways. The kids love being social. I love having time for friends and lunch dates, time to paint my nails and do a little something for myself. We are learning to savor time together and not take it for granted. This is such an exciting new chapter of our lives. We could not be happier with our decision and I don't think my kids could either. Kenna is already looking forward to starting Kindergarten next fall! Yay

An Awesome Night Out

2011-08-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

Yea pretty much, soooo much fun! My sis even managed to make it out with us and brought baby Leah too:)

Splashtopia Paradise!

2011-08-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

The pictures tell all! It was a BLAST at Splashtopa. We swam, ate amazing food, enjoyed adult beverages and watched movies til we had to leave! It was a really fun time:) The start to the vacation wasn't so awesome though. As we were prepping to go, Tanner rode his bike and crashed into our dog's leg. While I took Kayla to ortho to get her braces off, Nate was supposed to go shopping for last minute things we needed for our vacation, but he ended up at the vet getting our poor dog Xrays and eventually a cast for the broken bones*(broke both leg bones:( We set up babysitting for her and then took off hoping the vacation would be better then the packing for it anddddddddddddd it so was!!

Decision is Made and Final

2011-08-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Wyatt(9) grade 4, Kayla(10 turning 11) grade 6, Everett(8) grade 3, Tanner(6) grade 1

I'm so glad we started homeschool 8 weeks ago. I learned so many things this school year thus far and thats how labor intensive 6th grade is and thats really giving her a bare bones education. The math is so difficult, I am having to relearn it and then teach it to her. Wyatt had backslid a lot since our "summer" break so we are back to reversing letters and numbers. Everett is flourishing with minimal help though his concentration keeps him tied to his school books until 5pm many days. He wont just focus and do the 2 pages of math or 1 page of language lessons. Tanner is struggling to read.

I love homeschooling though and some of my best memories with my kids is homeschool related. Here is the thing though, Kenna and Madelynn are bored and reading one BFIAR book isnt enough for them. I give them coloring books, and all sorts of fun school stuff to do while I teach the others, but they continue to fight for my attention. Madelynn is barely talking and at 2.5 years that has me worried that I need to give her more one on one to really talk with her about everything so she starts picking up language better. My little guy, Jaxxon, is crawling and very active now, pulling up and eating everything he finds, including choking several times now on teeny things he has found so I have to watch him like a hawk. So where am I going with all this? I told you I wanted to make the right decision regarding school and as much as I LOVE homeschooling, I know Wyatt needs services that our insurance wont offer him and there are many other issues I stated above.

Nate and I sat down and did a pro/con list and we found the pro school list much much longer. We decided after speaking to the kids and hearing their input, to put the kids into public school. One of the biggest determinants for this decision was that this school we are zoned for now has ALL the services Wyatt needs. They wont ship him all over like the last school wanted to do in order to get him the speech, OT, PT and many other specialized teachers for teaching a child with aspergers. They actually have several other kids in the school really similar to Wyatt and I have hopes of meeting their families and making friendships for Wyatt and myself. This was a hard decision, but I feel it was the right decision.

Their first day was yesterday and went well. I think my kids got lucky as their teachers seem to all fit their different personalities very well. The time alone with all the little kids yesterday was so nice as well. The house was quiet and we got to read and paint and most of all talk a lot. I am normally really burned out from reading aloud to the big kids and helping them with their studies that I don't talk much later in the day to anyone. I mean I serve and cook and clean, but my voice gets tired. It was nice to talk to just the little kids all day as we cleaned, played, cooked, made a surprise for the big kids when they got home, and hung out together. That undivided attention is good for them. The quiet was also good for all of us. I was amazed that I liked it, lol.

So for 1 year we will be "trying" out public school and I think the kids are going to have a great year supplemented with weekends reading, decorating, doing crafts, baking and just being who we are. I'm excited to let them spread their wings and stretch out into the community. I'm taking this new chapter and looking for the good in it. This time our option was researched and thought out so that it will for certain last all year. The big bonus and probably the kicker to the whole school advantage is that Nate got offered a new position in his department that will take him from rotating schedules to a Monday thru Thursday 9-5 schedule for the next 3 years!!!! YAY so he wont have to miss out on family time. We wouldn't have done the public school option had this not happened so this protects our family time! Family togetherness and time is our number one priority.

Religion is Burning Me Out

2011-08-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

How do you even title a post like this I know. In reality though, its exactly how I feel. Trying to shove Bible down the throats of bored children who close their ears and goof off to any Bible curriculum I ever try is old. The church we have been attending for 8 months now has grown frustrating. My kids still have not adapted so I am getting awkward feelings towards the children's ministry not knowing WHY my kids 6 and under all cry still 8 months later, EACH and every Sunday. No, we didn't go Sunday this week because I quite honestly couldn't bare another week alone with 7 children dropping them all off crying(many times I pick them up still crying). If your wondering why I go alone its because Nate works weekends right now.

I have gotten diligent this year and really wanted to work through the entire Bible which I have done and digging in deep has left me feeling kinda.....hmmm skeptical of the Bible. Oh man that sounds rotten out loud, but this blog is about the nitty gritty of my life.....for happy, better, worse, good, bad, ugly, truthful feelings. It is what it is and I won't make excuses any longer for myself so if your reading and your uncomfortable, click off my page! I'm just being honest. Some of the things in the Bible are soooo disturbing or just feel plain untruthful like the killing of all the baby boys by king Herod, sending Moses down the river in a basket, Abraham making a covenant directly with God???Do I really believe people ever talked directly with God? NO, that's why I left the Mormon church, the whole Joseph Smith spoke with God was too much for my brain to get past. God punishing people in various ways in OT times(never thought of God that way before) and so on. I read and loved the NT 7 years ago and have always referred back to it, however, having gotten up close and personal with the OT this past year I feel all my skepticism creeping back in. I enjoy all the mushy Bible study books and other self help Christian books as they confirm my beliefs about being a stay at home mom and raising a large family and its importance. Those books confirm that I should be an excellent wife and mother and stay in the home if possible creating nourishing meals, cleanliness and order in my home via being a good home manager. I believe all those things with EVERY part of my being! But that is where I think I got confused. I don't need a Bible to confirm that decision. My husband and I know it to be right for our family so its right. Period. I think that is why they appealed to me always though and then they throw in that God wants me to do it so I would think, "Oh, even better." But really, when I get into my Bible and read and read, I feel so turned off or skeptical by such large portions. I admit many portions make me feel warm and gooey too. I just can't get past feeling like a fraud some days reading some of these things to my kids. We read the story of Abraham and Sarah yesterday and it just was sort of a pointless phony sounding story and all the kids looked at me like I was nuts when I finished. It makes me feel even weirder when my small kids act weirded out or skeptical by many stories we read as well. This has been happening for years every time I add Bible back into our homeschooling.

I am on a break from Bible, Christian books and all of it to sort out where I stand and how I feel. I think we are all wired to believe in something bigger and I do. Nate does too, though he has NEVER believed in the Bible. With that said, he was never opposed to my reading it to the kids or even being a Bible thumper if its what I believed. He has supported the kids and I by attending the LDS church and other churchs with us each week. His tolerance is true love! How much of word for word Bible do I reallllllly realllllllly believe though, I don't know at this point.

I am also still bothered by so many prayers going unanswered or being answered in such a negative way. I am sad for world hunger, war, and so many other things a loving "parent" wouldn't allow. Isn't that an oxymoron to say God allows these things and is the most loving Father of all, yet us parents would lose our children to CPS if we allowed war or hunger within our own homes? Confused? I know I am. If you made it this far, I won't apologize for offending you, but thank you for reading my babbling thoughts on my journey of religions/spirituality over the years.

At this point in time my efforts will be going into homeschooling the best I can, making wonderful snuggly memories with my kids year round, getting out on dates with my hubby more often, riding my horse, weaning(yes I'm rotten and weaning down Jaxxon(10mo) to only a few X a day) so I can get out more, and doing what I feel is morally right or wrong for ME. The long skirts I enjoy some days, but that's when weather permits. I posted pics in them hoping to be the good little Christian woman that could encourage others on their journey and I don't regret it. I did what I felt was right at the time. However, my feelings are ebbing and flowing with life, learning, searching and reading.When its 100 out those skirts are atrocious and to call them anything else would be dead wrong. Modesty in soCal mid summer is a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. So here I go to center. Balance. Getting away from extreme religion, dress, homemaking, homeschooling, etc. I am learning each day I live more and more how I enjoy living and what works best for my family.

I am excited to be coming to the realization that I don't need the Bible or Christian books to tell me that its good or valuable to stay at home and homeschool my kids or to find worth in scrubbing toilets and wiping butts. I just know it to be true in my heart. Its valuable and I am proud to do it.....not because God or the Bible say I should. Its nice not to feel pressured to be religious anymore just because I homeschool. I don't have to throw my kids into school because I don't want to drag myself to the ~~torture chamber~~ church each week. My older kids might ask to go to church again in a year or two because that is what roped me in after our last big, long few years break and ya know what....this time I will tell them to go with a friend if they need to. I won't deny them, but I won't go each week with them either. Its too brainwashing skirting around many things that really exist in the Bible that I will never be able to believe or agree with. I don't want to go back down that road again!

Alrighty, off to clean and homeschool for the value of doing it because it needs done and its important........not for the "glory of God" or "good works." Amen to that!!

Can You Have it All? Is it All it Seems?

2011-08-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

I know I'm burned out from a busy/fun summer and homeschooling 6 weeks through already, but I find a tinge of jealousy creeping in as I see friends sending kids off to school for a "break at last." Iy, why do I compare. I often wonder if I could have my big happy family and get a break, but I try to remind myself why I do it and then I have a day where they are all complaining(at least once a week) about our schooling and throwing fits and not wanting to do the work. Today I have a lazy child who is JUST now finishing school up at 4:45 pm. That wears me out. I wont lie. My mom asks me regularly, "Why not do those fun Five in a Row" books in season like you do, but read them after school letting each child take a turn everyday for their homework reading time and then just do the fun activities like making pies or a chinese meal or going apple picking for the weekends or days off. Is she right? Could I have the best of both worlds? I dunno, but I often wonder. I am struggling to teach Tanner to read. He isn't catching as quickly as siblings have. 6.5 years old and literally can maybe recognize sounds for 10 letters despite 4 complete phonics programs. Maybe someone else could teach him? I always question myself at years begining and around mid year when we are suuuuper burned out. I guess I start out each year knowing I want stabiliy first and foremost so it feels like a huge decision as to whether or not to put them in because I want the first decision of the year to last all year. I don't wanna switch halfway through the year...too flakey. I don't know its a tough call and I am really toying with school......just unsure. Praying about it. Needing direction. It doesn't help that my kids have told me daily for years now that they want to be in school. Maybe I am denying them? Maybe they will grow up to regret me for not listening to their wishes to be in school despite my attempts to tell them its not all it seems. Maybe they want candy everyday too though and as the mom I know that isn't best? Nate's wonky schedules don't help make the decision any easier. His shifts change as fast as I can get a routine down. Arggg decisions decisions. Input would be great. I would love to hear from homeschoolers, unschoolers, public or private schoolers and everything in between if you have any thoughts on this. Can I have my cake and eat it too? Get a break and still have a big happy family? Children who still love the Lord? Sanity? Time for the 3 littles who seem extra needy this year? hmmmm thinking........

So Much Life and So Little Time! :P

2011-08-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

Big plans, so little time. I admit that I did say I wanted to work towards using my blog as more of ministry and while I still do, time is escaping me big time lately. I have also made a big goal after moving to our new house 3 months ago that I wanted to keep it suuuuper clean. I was tired of living in disorder and being embarrassed by drop in visits from friends and family. I have very well kept my word and my white walls are shiny and sparkling(wiped daily), floors mopped(daily or every other day), vacuumed 1-2X a day, bedding washing once a week, laundary done daily so as never to get more than 1-2 loads behind....that sorta thing. 95% of the time our home is now ready for drop in visitors at any moment. This has taken a lot of my time working and training my kids to be more dilligent in their cleaning. With all that said, I am just not certain how often I will be blogging for the time being. I will try to make more time, but I can't promise and its been especially busy for us as we are 6 weeks into our 2011-2012 school year(getting a jump start in case I were to end up preggy during the school year...not even cycling again yet, but the thought has crossed my mind) already which is eating away all our spare time as well.

We are having a reallllly wonderful school year thus far though, our best yet! Having fun lapbooking, doing FIAR, some MFW(decided it wasnt as great full time as we hoped) and BFIAR for the little ones. I am proud to say we have had such a busy and fun filled summer that I haven't been online much!!

We have been fishing, hiking, swimming, riding, BBQing, visiting local lakes and water parks and enjoying long days outdoors watching the kids ride bikes until the moon makes its appearance. Our grand finale for the summer will be a vacation to a splashtopia paradise, a resort near Palm Springs CA in 2 weeks so I have been busing planning that as well as the fall bday kids(Kayla soon to be 11, Kenna soon to be 4 and Jaxxon soon to be 1) bday party. We are doing a big circus themed party towards the end of September, along with rodeo coming up, the county fair and route 66. The begining of October will be warmly welcomed as a time of relaxation and some hibernation from all the summer hoopla. Well there you have it, I get back to blogging more in time, just be patient with me:) God Bless!

Wow

2011-07-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading-2516110/

Before long, mankind will just die out. Kids are now being treated like dogs and unallowed into places. How cute they even came up with a little sign to post outside of unkidfriendly places......grocery stores even considering no kids certain days of the week? Really aren't kids the base of humanity? I just can't beleive this. Seems like a sick joke. I am offended as a mother of 7 :( Satan can really be a handful! I pray that people boycott this new "movement."

I think I just felt some baby fever coming on...yes I'm a rebel!!!

Why Doesnt Prayer Work?

2011-07-24T16:43:00.000-07:00

Why doesnt God hear us who pray? Why aren't the sick always healed. I am having a semi- faith crisis. I am very sad for a family who has had a lot of people praying and their child is only getting sicker. I am sad for another family I prayed for and their child died. Why? If God answers us who ask....then why? If anyone can help me with this very important question, it would be appreciated. Thank you, just having a rough day.

Excited

2011-07-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

For a few things......first, IM BLONDE AGAIN yayayyay. Second, we finished 2.5 weeks of homeschooling thus far and public schools havent even started back yet, woop woop. Third, I am excited for how much fun we have gotton to have this summer with friends and family. Jaxxon started crawling 4 days before turning 9 months(not bad for a preemie), I got a new camera, we have been doing lots of riding and Nate's training his horse for bow hunting! Nothing feels better than being off the mountain:)

Had to Blog About It!!!!

2011-07-06T16:16:00.000-07:00

We started our first day back to school yesterday and went to dinner last night to celebrate our back to school. Its been a fun week so far and I just wanted to say, My Fathers World Creation to Greeks is SO...MUCH....FUN!!!! Let me tell you what a perfect balance it is of reading and hands on, but not junky and boring hands on. This is fun stuff. We have tried, Rod and Staff, Abeka, Five in a Row(LOVED), and Sonlight along with unschooling and just doing our own thing over the years. This is our 7th year homeschooling and I cannot beleive how much we are loving My Fathers World(Delux pkg). I am already thinking we will use it again next year. Its just an amazingly Biblical based curriculum that really goes in depth and brings the Bible to life through experiences, art, science and captivating books like Dinosaurs in Eden. I love doing Bible study each morning with Daddy involved also because the place in the Bible we are reading pertains directly to things we will do that day in school. Its neat because he knows around about what we are learning each day, leaving him feeling more involved. It is my prayer that each family has/could find a curriculum that they love as much as we love this one!

What we are currently using for the year:
My Fathers World, Creation to Greeks Delux package with all children, Notebooks and student sheets with 6th, 4th and 3rd grader. This package includes a timeline we hung in our homeschool room and will add to all year, notebooking sheets for the 4 oldest kids, vocabulary(latin/greek/hebrew) program, Creation science, read alouds, Bible feasts and Victor Journey through the Bible, and fun project books about Egypt and other places mentioned in early Old Testament times. I love the Bible really being the backbone to our education!

Kayla 6th grade: Abeka Language of God series for LA, Singapore math, Abeka Spelling
Wyatt and Everett(3rd and 4th grade): Abeka Language arts and arithmatic
Tanner(K/1st): Horizons math, Hooked on phonics 1 and 2 Kindergarten, My Fathers World little readers series.
Kenna(Pre K age almost 4): Rod and Staff preschool workbooks, PreK hooked on phonics
MaddiMae(2yo): Joins big sis Kenna in workbooks, coloring and listening to hooked on phonics PreK CD rom!
Jaxxon(9mo): plays with a big box of fun baby toys!
.

When is your......Back to School?

2011-06-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

We start back July 5th and I can't wait! We have been out since May 1st so I am aching for routine and I am super excited about our curriculum this year. We will be doing My Fathers World, Creation to Greeks. We plan to work for 4 weeks and then take 1 off work 4 then 1 off all year with the exception of 2 weeks at Christmas and finish again around the begining of May. How do you ladies do your school years? We enjoy May/June off because its nice weather and I notice by July we become so overheated that we prefer to be indoors anyhow. So back to school is RIGHT around the corner for us. :) yay

On a side note, I am asking for prayers. 4 of our 7 kids have chicken pox(including baby Jaxxon), 5 of us have just finished passing around the stomach virus and now a cold is also going around all at the same time. Some of the kids were puking while covered in chicken pox. Its been a really rough week and yet I am so thankful I was first to get sick because I got better fast and have been able to care for my family, including my poor husband who is now on his second virus in 6 days.

Completely Random

2011-06-22T20:00:00.001-07:00

Um I totally had a moment of baby fever today. Totally random I know. Someone slap me. I am def not pregs. I just wished I was......for. a. moment. Okay had to get that off my chest! xoxoxo

My New Love

2011-06-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

This is Hank, our newest addition to the horse clan! He is about 9 and his owner, a 76 year old man, passed away on Thanksgiving so we became his proud new family this weekend. He has completely stolen my heart. As huge as he is(about 16.2 or 16.3 hands), he is the biggest lovey baby:) I am so excited for all the riding I will get to do with him!

Virtual Tour of Our New Home

2011-06-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

Foyer area to the front door

Right inside front door and to the left is the entrance to the homeschool room

Homeschool room is a work in progress but its coming along really nicely

Homeschool room

Got the easel at our homeschools curriulum sale this week for 5 bucks yay

Nate just hung that fan and I love it

Now onto the kitchen

Where all the food is made

My brother painted those saws!

From dining

The blessing of a huge dining area for our big family

The living/den

Its hard to get a good pic of this room, but its a wonderful and large yet cozy room

The barn

Hallway bath

Girls room

Boys room, 2 sets of bunks

My room

My bathroom

a double showerhead shower yes I am way excited!

front of house

garage and extra house(rental)

Horses in pasture!

God is soooo gracious to make provisions such as our new home. I am so very blessed

To Answer a Few ???s

2011-05-27T16:29:00.000-07:00

We are all moved in and almost done unpacking. Have a few things to do outside still.
While I think skirts and dresses can be(if worn correctly) more modest than anything else, we don't entirely wear dresses and skirts. I am trying to get myself and my girls to wear them as preference over other things, but I do think for horses, trampoline and a few other select things like gardening, bermudas or jeans are more modest/comfy for us.

That's all for today and I am just so greatful to God that we were able to get moved down the mountain safely and smoothly. Its wonderful to be back in our hometown. Getting to see family and old friends means the world. I have missed them all so very much!

Moving!

2011-05-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

We made it just shy of a year up here in the mountains. We learned so many valuable lessons and most importantly, that we are not mountain folk! We will be moving tomorrow morning. I will post pics of the new house when we get settled in and for now I will be missing for a bit. Everything is packed and we are "camping" in our house tonight. We will start our move early tomorrow morning. Please pray for us that we will get everybody/thing off the mountain and to our new home safely. Thank you all in advance:)

Words Haven't Been Coming Easily

2011-04-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of stress. I'm not handling it well. I admit it. Moving again(3rd time in 3 years) is almost too overwhelming to think about. I am thrilled to move to our hometown again, yet the work involved and the logisitics of moving with 7 children, 3 horses, 2 dogs and a cat is not a picnic. I've literally worked myself up to the point of having full blown, nasty, panic attacks. I have struggled with anxiety on and off in my teen and adult years. My entire family battles this annoying problem and usually positive self-talk will do the trick but these attacks have been worse than anything I have ever experienced. I mean.....heart thumping, body parts going numb, profuse sweating, complete paranoia, insomnia etc. I have also completely stopped trying to lose weight months ago when I reached my goal weight of 125, WELL I AM NOW 114(way toooooooo bony/skinny) this is what I weighed in highschool. I cannot beleive I weigh this small of an amount as a mother of 7 who eats a lot and I am 5' 5".

I finally caved and went to see my Dr assuming I am under stress and this is just panic, I was admitting defeat and hoping for a medicine I could take just on the ocassion of a bad attack. What I found out instead is my TSH is almost undetectable. I am extremely hyperthyroid so that is why I have had such severe panic/weight loss and then add the stress of moving in there and its been a recipe for disaster. I am asking for prayers for peace and healing of my thyroid. I do not want to do anything radical medically. I just am praying fervently that it will right itself in a short time as I had this issue after my 3rd child as well and it just corrected itself on its own. Panic attacks are not fun and that is certain. I am just trying to medititate, pray and relax as much as possible as I beleive our mind-body connection is strong and I am guessing the stress through my body for a loop so I am working on destressing. Prayers are greatly appreciated though as I beleive strongly in the power of prayer. Thank you in advance.

Moving

2011-04-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall off the map. We have been super busy and are getting ready to move off the mountain back to our old town and I am soooo excited. I miss our homeschool group, family, friends, church.........everything. Its a very busy time for us but I will be updating more once we are in our new place. It has 1.25 acres, the horses have already been moved off the mountain and are loving their new pasture and sunshine! We are working hard to get the house ready for move in. We are praying that we will be in by May 1st but there is a lot to be finished. Oh and for those who are wondering why we are moving, well the mountains have caused us way too many health issues including all of us being severely vitamin D deficient and our horses have had a terrible time keeping weight despite shelter and blankets so its just not for us. We made it 10 months but they were long, VERY long.

Soaking Sprouting and Traditional Food Prep

2011-02-25T16:00:00.000-08:00

Soaking and sprouting grains has became a fun new hobby for us. I want to give my family the most nourishing food I can and through much research and a new book called Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, I have decided to drastically change the way we eat and prepare foods. The main emphasis is real food, nutrient dense and real.

Some things include fermenting and/or soaking and sprouting grains, beans, and legumes of all kinds before cooking, drying, grinding or eating them.

Eating organic eggs(get these free from my mom who took all our chickens when we moved).
Eating range fed beef and chicken or hunted and fished game and fish.(easy as my hubby fishes all the time and him and his brother and dad kill wild hogs regularly along with duck)
Eating raw butter, cheese and milks......not so easy. I go for organic and full fat versions instead. California has very few places you can buy raw and its expensive as heck!
Eating pesticide free fruits and veggies whenever possible
Eating raw, soaked and sprouted nuts

There are anti nutrients(nutrients that rob your body of nutrients) in unsoaked or unsprouted grains. Also as you sprout grains, they use their own carbs to grow the sprout which them turns almost everything very low glycemic index which has completely taken care of my blood sugar issue. Some of my new favorite sites are:
http://www.nourishingdays.com/

http://www.westonaprice.org/book-reviews/thumbs-up/393-nourishing-traditions-the-cookbook-that-challenges-politically-correct-nutrition-and-the-diet-dictocrats.html

http://nourishedkitchen.com/

http://gnowfglins.com/

http://cookingwiththebible.com/results.aspx?option=browse&type=course&q=bread (great traditional recipes, though you must use your own judgement to adapt recipes with soaked, soured or sprouted grains)

http://thenourishingcook.com/

As a side note to nutrition......I have dropped to 118! I am officially down 20 lbs in 3 months. Isnt it odd switching to full fat milks and butters, I have LOST more weight effortlessly this past month.

The Beauty of my Life

2011-02-19T17:19:00.000-08:00

Snow

New clothes

My NEW E350 super duty econoline

LOVE

Now we can get preggs again eventually, with no worries....space to spare

Wii with our neighbors

Go Rod, Go baby

Bald eagle at our local lake

Lil eskino MaeMae throwing a tantrum(love her strong lil will)

Barbie laying out while we fish in 40 degrees

The joy barbies bring Kenna and Kayla making them clothing

Our snow filled street

Our street the other way

Kayla enjoying the pouring snow

My heart, my soulmate, my love forever.....in the snow, in the rain, in the happiness and in the pain....you walk with me everyday through everything.

Lets Talk Blood Sugar

2011-02-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

I had GD or missed the mark by 1pt (failing one number and missing one more by under 1 point) for the last 3 pregnancies and the size of my babies prove that one point cutoff is ridiculous and I had GD. Unfortunately Drs just say to cut the sugar blah blah blah....real helpful, NOT. Never gave me a glucose monitor or even sent me to a nutritionist??? So I forgot about it and moved on with my life until I recently got the highish A1C reading on my blood work. Im truly praying that when we get off this mountain and get more sun, as vitamin D levels normalize, so will my blood sugar. I am not entirely sure that will happen though as my grandmother died at 54 after being on dialysis for 3 years, having no sight left and 5 massive heart attacks all due to diabetes complications, my dad was diagnosed diabetic in an emergency room with sugars over 500(yes he was VERY sick) and my aunt and one uncle on my moms side are also diabetic. My odds suck. Plain. And. Simple. So I decided to start checking my sugars here and there to see what foods(I mean I eat super healthy) were causing issues. Oddly enough most foods I tolerate very well with blood sugar dropping back into the high 80's or low 90's within 2 hours. My problem seems to be lunch/afternoon snack. My blood sugar is just shooting straight to 140 by one 1 hour and 160 by 2 hours, then 140, 3 hours post parandial. I am trying to stop the afternoon snacking in order to keep my blood sugar more stable. I have learned that snacking is not good for my system. After breakfast I peak about 1 hour post meal around 115-120 and then drop shortly after. I do typically have cinnamon at breakfast on my oats or Quinoa and I read cinnamon lowers sugar so maybe thats why. At dinner I never go over 100 and heres why I think that is. I am practically french at heart, not a lush, definately in moderation......but I drink a glass of red wine with dinner EVERY single night. Its my guilty pleasure and apparently it may be saving me too lol. I can even eat a homemade whole wheat choco chip cookie after dinner and BS never went over 101. ??? Crazy huh. Im half tempted to make my wine at dinner only 3 ounces and have the other 3 ounces with lunch and see what happens. I rarely drink more than 6 ounces of wine a day anyhow so why not split it up? But really I am afraid it may make me a tad lazy midday which I dont want either. hmmmm what to do. I am going to try for almost no carbs midday for a few days and see what happens. I most certainly dont want my BS in the 160s like EVER. Anyone struggling with normalizing blood sugars? This is all new to me so if you have any advice I am all ears and I guess I should say I am not diabetic(YET) but have been diagnosed glucose intolerant since I was 23. Oddly my FBS are usually 88-95 so they arent really all that high. Its my post parandial sugars that are obviously driving up my A1C's. FBS does go up to 119ish when preggo but drop as soon as I deliver. Anyhow I have always just tried and thought I was eating right. This is the first time I ever tried getting a real picture of what was going on and Im now trying to get a handle on these sugars. At least I know now that snacking is a big no no for me. I used to think it was healthy to snack every two hours on nuts, V8, string cheese etc. Not so much.

Update on my Crummo Immune System

2011-01-31T14:08:00.000-08:00

So I went to the Dr and I am vit D deficient as well as glucose intolerant stillllllll:/ grrrrr A1C was high. Natural remedies? Ideas? I eat so healthy(almost no processed food), work out, am currently nursing, bmi is in perfect range(low side of normal....5'5" tall and weigh 121) but my immune system sucks and I have some peripheral nerve damage in my hands and face and some bouts of pretty icky insomnia. They told me just stop eating sugar and take 1000 IU of D3 daily and try to get 20 mins of sunshine daily at midday. I have already been taking 600IU of vit D3 daily so I guess I will add 400IUs. As for stop eating sugar, wellllllll yea I dont, and not only do I rarely ever touch a cookie, cake or candy, I rarely eat bread, white rice, etc. We eat a lot of quinoa, beans, lentils, nuts, cheese, milk, eggs, veggies galore, 1-2 peices of fruit a day if that and usually oranges lately. Ahhhh well praying summer hurries so obtaining sunlight will be easier. **sigh

Taking Hair From Black to Brown, WOW sooooo much time

2011-01-26T16:43:00.000-08:00

Step 1, color oops!

Rinsing while Nate laughs because I am now RED

Turned uber red, BUT no more black and NO damage! Love color oops

Ahhh he was so patient with mommy

Bleach time, Step 2

I'm NOW a pumpkin!!! AHHH

Oh wow

Step 3, nurse baby while brown now goes on hair

Even and NO MORE BLACK! Its hard to tell but its not that dark, even though the pic looks like it.....5 deep conditions and a blowdry later

Hair cuts for the boys ahhhh

FINALLY, I am a Brunette! NO MORE black!!! yay

Very long process but worth it, I am thrilled to get the black out:)

WHAT GIVES???

2011-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna lose it, we have officially began virus number 7 in 7 weeks! WHY ME? I have cooked nothing but veggies and fruits and healthy foods and here we are sick yet again. I feel so angry. This sucks!!! Just sayin'. We at least got a 6 day break between viruses this time, but really we homeschool and hardly go anywhere, how could we get so sick so often?

Homemade Black Bean Burgers

2011-01-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

We ate these http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/homemade-black-bean-veggie-burgers/Detail.aspx on 100% whole wheat thin buns with avacado, onions, tomatoes, and all the yummy works. Side dish was orange slices! mmm BEST dinner, hands down! I can't tell you how healthy we have been feeling since almost stopping meat entirely! We are down to maybe 1 meat dish a week and its usually shrimp or fish or chicken.

Some delish vegeterian and vegan meals

2011-01-19T14:50:00.000-08:00

Dinner 2 nights ago was a spinach saute' with garlic and onions along with spaghetti that had crumbled(cooked) tofu, sun-dried tomatoes and mushrooms over Quinoa! It was delish. All the kids ate it and loved it.

Todays lunch was cauliflower casserole(THE BEST we have all ever eaten that contained cauliflower mmmm)http://www.food.com/recipe/roasted-cauliflower-16-roasted-cloves-of-garlic-106251 Along with baked asparagas that had olive oil and sea salt on it and Herbed white beans http://www.food.com/recipe/mediterranean-chicken-herbed-white-beans-246078

Dinner will be a Veggie Quinoa soup similar to this http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/quinoa-vegetable-soup/Detail.aspx

Lastly, our fav new breakfast is Quinoa with apples sauteed in cinnamon and a smidge of butter and for the kids maybe a lil maple syrup too. Its soo delish and nutrish.

I have taken measures to eat really clean lately in order to help out our sickly immune systems and its WORKING! yay, knock on wood, no new viruses for about 9 days after being sick for 6 weeks straight!

Happy Birthday Wyatt(9) and Tanner(6)

2011-01-15T08:18:00.000-08:00

Jaxxon 3 months, at the park

Buzz Lightyear cake, freehand!! Go me:)

My sister and newest neice, Leah

Grandma with Lexi and Kayla

Blow out those candles boys

Birthday boys with grandpa

Grandma and MaeMae

Kayla and Lexi

Jaxxon and Leah

Ahhh holding hands

Nana, Jax and Grandpa

Jaxxon is alllllways happy

My lil giggle pop

123 lbs

2011-01-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

measurements today 36-27.5-37, yes the baby officially fits in my 5's with me

You Know Your Snowpeople are Jealous of our Snowpeople

2011-01-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

Our snow family and a few breath taking views from our street

Enjoying Winters Simple Pleasures-Umm Trying

2011-01-09T08:10:00.000-08:00

Nate's car burried andthe front steps leaving our house

Anyone wanna BBQ? ehehe

Dog food and water bowl and bucket, ummmm I am thinking they will have to eat indoors all winter

View from lower side porch of our yard

The trees are breath takingly beautiful, like postcards

Jaxxon 13.6 lbs at 2.5 months!! yes he's a BRUISER:) I love it

lil man watching TV( I really only sat him in here for a pic I promise, I know he is too young) I just thought he looked so cute in it!

We are truly trying to enjoy all winter has to offer in the mountains because our lease is over halfways over and we definately want to get moving off the mountain when it ends. Don't get me wrong, we have met some amazing people up here along with some not so amazing people. We LOVE the snow, but hate it when its weeks before it melts off our road which is REALLY steep and the trash truck with chains can't even get up here to collect our trash. We are trying to have fun making snowmen, throwing snowballs and sledding as well as sliding out and hitting snowburms while driving: NOT. We are getting our fill of one of Southern California's coldest places topping out many days at 20 with a crazy wind chill, only to remember that next year we will only VISIT the mountains and when that wind chill picks up, we will go home where its 95% of the time all year round, nice and sunny 50+ degrees. Who knew 45 could feel like t-shirt weather! I will say though what really has killed us most about our winter wonderland.....our horses! I am finally able to ride(not preggo anymore) and can't because there is simply no way to even get them out of their corrals with the steep snowy terrain. They are depressed, mine in particular is losing weight from depression and cold. We blanket them, they have beautiful shelters and feed very heavy, but my Jersey is just so depressed she is barely eating. We are waiting/praying for a break in the weather to try and get a trailer up here and get her off the mountain and board her where its warmer. I am praying God will open a door somewhere some way so we can get our family back to our small town at the mountain's foothills. So please if you have a second to add our family to your prayers we would appreciate it. We are praying a housing situation with room for horses will open up at an affordable price, praying his job will eventually take him back off the mountain and praying for our horse who is severely depressed. Nate and I miss our weekly horseback rides(so good for our marriage) and without family nearby and good weather, that just doesn't happen for us. Praying to go home to the same lil small town we grew up in near all our family. I know some opportunity will open up soon, I have faith that it is not the will of our Father for our animals to live this way through another winter. I know deep down something amazing will come up and we will be able to reunite with our small town.

Health Update 8

2011-01-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

A little over 7 weeks into it now.
Height: 5' 5.5"
Weight: 124 lbs (-9lbs) If you count from 9 weeks ago, I have lost 14lbs

Waist: 27.75" (-2.75 inches )
Hips: 37.5" (-1.25 ")
Bust: 35.5""(-1.5")
Arm: 10.25"(-.25 woot woot)
Thigh: 21" (-1")

BMI: starting was 22.1, it is now 20.3 (I don't put much stock in BMI by the way, its too general.

9lbs and 6.75 inches total lost in 5 weeks!!! I am really happy with this

I gave up on calorie counting when I hit 125 lbs I dont feel it necessary any longer as anything more lost is just icing on the cake. I am very comfortable here and I am at a point where when I gain a few lbs on and off from an unhealthy day it doesnt look too bad so there's the update for the week. I am unfortunately sick again so working out is once again off the menu. Are you all seeing the pattern I am seeing??? Working out for me ='s SICK SICK SICK. In 4 weeks time I have had a 2 week cold that felt like I would die (mucous drowning me in the middle of the night, terrible fevers...ugh), next I got the stomache virus a few days ago, now I am battling a sore throat and body aches:( I am once again toying with quitting working out. My workouts this time have been 20-25 minutes and usually its some type of interval with weights or just plain weights or 20 minutes of moderately peddling on the elliptical 4 days a week along with abs and streching and still I am sick, sick, sick. I take a daily multivitamin and mineral supp along with fish oil. My daily life is active but I havent been able to get out and walk with all the snow so I felt I should pick up moderate work outs again, but..........do you think its actually the work outs or just the time of year?

I know Health is Big On Most Resolutions

2011-01-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_buettner_how_to_live_to_be_100.html

This has got to be the most amazing and awesome video ever. He basically talks about 9 common things that each of the worlds longest living cultures have in common. These are the keys to longevity and not just longevity but health all the way to death! Its eye opening and I know I will be making some more tweaks in our lives this year due to this video. I was inspired so I hit up amazon and grabbed Healthy at 100: The Scientifically Proven Secrets of the World's Healthiest and Longest-Lived Peoples and also The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest . I want my family to live to be old old old! :0) Here's to health and longevity starting in 2011!

Resolution Time!

2011-01-01T10:14:00.000-08:00

First off, HAPPY NEW YEARS 2011! Lets pray for a great year. My resolutions this year include:

Being more kind and gentle as a mother and wife. I have been a bit short tempered lately and I want to stop that and get control of my attitude.
Paying off and chopping up our credit card(only have 1 and now owe 2100 on it) shouldnt be too hard.
Getting a good savings built up(by good I mean, I would be happy with anything over the 38 bucks ours currently has in it and NO credit card debt by years end.) REALLY!
Moving back off the mountain. While we like it, its not much for us I don't think. We miss riding our horses(WAY too cold here) and having our family close by to babysit so we can actually get out and nurture our marriage regularly.
Having a better attitude with homeschooling. I admit it, I have been burned out with it once December hit and we have now had a 2 week break so we need to dig in and get going!!
Get Tanner reading this year. He turns 6 on the 7th of January so its time to really hunker the lil guy down and start him on homeschooling. He just wasnt developmentally ready until now.

That should do it!!

Health Update Mini

2010-12-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

Front view of goal #2 met~ 125lbs

Back view of 125 lbs(sorry pulled up tankini to show lower back so its kinda twisted lol)

I reached my second goal!!! My first goal was 130 and my second was 125. I hit 125 lbs today. I am quite happy and proud of myself. My next goal is to maybe tone up some more and drop 5 more lbs, but we will see! I am not neurotic about it anymore and it I get there I do, but I am seriously proud to rock this body as a mama of 7!!

Health Update 7

2010-12-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

6 weeks in and I am 127 lbs this week, still.....again. I am seriously sad to report no changes this week, but in spite of being very ill with a cold/bronchitis/larangitis, working out just hasnt been in the cards. I have not watched what I ate at all either with Christmas dinners and baking at hand. I am THRILLED that I didn't gain. I have watched portions big time though. I try to never eat more than the size of my closed fist total at any meal so thats been my only holiday strategy this week and I have coughed more than anyone could ever imagine so I am sure thats burning up a gazillion calories as well. After tomorrow I will be pulling out my food diary and hopefully working out again and trying to maybe drop a few more lbs. If I stayed at this weight, measurements, I am VERY happy with my body. If I drop a few more.....YAY me! :) 127 is usually where my body likes to hit a wall so I think its pretty close to my "ideal" weight.

Finally

2010-12-22T16:44:00.001-08:00

After 8 days of straight rain 31" to be exact, its SNOWING!!! woot woot. We are OVER the rain.

Christmas 2010!

2010-12-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

Last night was a great Christmas eve complete with opening of new PJs and lots of soggy rain! Its now pouring for the 8th day here in Southern Cali with snow headed our way in a few hours. We all got up around 7:30 this morning and groggily got going on gift opening and playing with all the new things. Everyone was very happy and I feel so much gratitude for my life, my family, my beautiful and grateful children and their smiley faces. We had cream cheese stuffed french toast for breakfast and dinner will include a chicken stuffed with cranberry stuffing and a few other side dishes. Planning to just kick back and enjoy all the new movies, games and toys today in our PJs while enjoying all the rain~!

Doin Better

2010-12-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

Maybe that night out with Nate was what I really needed. I came home feeling refreshed and ready to tackle laundry and dishes with a renewal of my spirits. I have worked hard on my attitude and being cognicant of the way I act and trying not to self loathe. We are officially on homeschool break also which is helping me as well. We will start back the first week of January. I think Nate actually seeing how overwhelmed I was has been good because he has been really stepping up and helping with things to ease my burden. We are having our Christmas eve today and Christmas tomorrow morning, which is super exciting. We decided to do it early because Nate has to work on the actual holiday. This afternoon will be filled with yummy smells of cooking, unwrapping of the famous Christmas eve Pjs and too much candy! Tomorrow will be filled with lil feet pitter pattering up and down the stairs to see what goodies they have waiting for them. Its going to be a great couple of days and I look forward to it all, but I also look forward to taking decorations down as they start feeling cluttery after so long and just getting our home back to normal. It will be nice to snuggle up and homeschool on the couches in a clean, uncluttererd house with all the holiday stresses behind us. Now its time to pay off that credit card from all the Christmas costs!

Heading to the Christmas party

2010-12-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

Mama and Jax all ready to go

1/2 of our table

The other 1/2

Ugly sweater contest! haha

Jaxxon this morning in the hotel room smilin at me after I dressed him

Our night away was much needed and we had SOOO much fun! :0) A night to remember for certain

Health Update Week 6......added before/after shots

2010-12-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

Height:

Wow I actually measured my height today since I havent measured it in years and I am 5' 5.5" woohoo I grew a lil taller lol

Weight: 127 lbs (-6lbs)

Waist: 27.75" (-2.75 inches, and lemme tell you it looks dramatic)

Hips: 37.75" (-1 ")

Bust: 37""(same)

Arm: 10.25"(-.25 woot woot)

Thigh: 21" (-1")

BMI: starting was 22.1, it is now 20.8 (I don't put much stock in BMI by the way, its too general.

6lbs and 5 inches total lost in 5 weeks!!! I am really happy with this

WHR: Waist(27.75) divided by Hips(37.75) = 0.787096774 TODAYS: 0.735099338 YAY I am movin on down! My goal still remains to get as close as possible to .70

I FINALLY have the IDEAL 10 inch difference between hips and waist!
Waist to Height Ratio is ideally less than .50. Mine wass: 0.46 bleh TODAYS: 0.423664122
My goal here still remains to get as close to .40 as possible

Okay so I have to be really honest here, I cannot beleive I lost anything this week. I blew it a lot. My calories sucked many days. I only worked out Thurs-sun last week and starting Monday I came down with the flu(nope not the stomache flu) and I have been hackin my lungs up and burning up with fever since monday. I am feeling a tad better today thankfully. I am updating a day early because Nate and I are going overnight away from the kids(except baby, he comes with us) for his work Christmas party and then staying in a resort:) tonight. I do plan to diary today and tomorrow even with us going away because its good to see how many calories I take in regardless if its too many.

12/11 Sat- 1580
12/12 Sun- 1560
12/13 Mon- 2085
12/14 Tues- 2528 (Verrry sick and burning up with fever AND ate too many Sees candies lol)
12/15 Wed- 2445 (same issue as the day before)
12/16 Thurs- 1730

BEFORE 138lbs big belly

Yesterday 12/17 127 lbs

Side view

Up close...nearly 3 inches off a tummy makes a huge difference

Average calories this week was 1988. Better than last week and fortunately I seem to be able to lose 1 lbs a week easily whilst eating around 2000 calories a day! Well off to pack and get ready for our overnighter:) You can bet my calories wont be too great today and tomorrow OH well I plan to fully enjoy our time away!!

I HEART smiles

2010-12-15T14:43:00.000-08:00

Jaxxon at 2 months 4 days

He's a seriously happy lil guy! I am so glad to be his Mama. I can't beleive how these lil smiles can melt me over and over again with each new baby!

EEEEP

2010-12-15T13:41:00.000-08:00

I know its so not my "day" of the week yet to post about my weightloss journey, buttttttt I had to hop because I am so excited!! My waist is now 28 on the dot and my weight dropped to 126! I am so excited. My 5's are literally falling off! I look like I have a load in the butt haha! :0) woohooo its paying off and the weight is droppin. I am so proud of myself. So my measurements rt now are really great, 37-28-38:)

Long Lost Twins

2010-12-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

Tanner at 4 months

Jaxxon at 2months

I definately think we have some 5yr apart twins lol:) Their personalities are also VERY similar. Its odd, like I am raising the same baby 5 years later. Everything about Jax reminds me of Tanner as a baby down to the red tones in their hair!

Weekly Health Update #5

2010-12-11T07:55:00.000-08:00

In 4 weeks, here are the results!

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 128 lbs (-5lbs)
Waist: 28.25" (-2.25 inches Hallelujuh!!! this is where I really wanted to lose)
Hips: 38" (-.75 ")
Bust: 36""(same as day 1)
Arm: 10.25"(-.25 woot woot)
Thigh: 21" (-1")
BMI: starting was 22.1, it is now 21.3 (I don't put much stock in BMI by the way, its too general.

5lbs and 4.25 inches total lost in 4 weeks!!!

WHR: Waist(28.25) divided by Hips(38) = 0.787096774 TODAYS: 0.743421053 YAY I am movin on down! My goal still remains to get as close as possible to .70

I am inching close to having the IDEAL 10 inch difference between hips and waist! Mine is now 9.75" so only a quarter inch to go:)

Waist to Height Ratio is ideally less than .50. Mine wass: 0.46 bleh TODAYS:
0.434615385 My goal here still remains to get as close to .40 as possible, but already, this is the average olympic swimmers ratio so hey, thats something to be proud of! I am so very happy with myself for at least keeping at target with workouts.

I admit this week has been the hardest yet. The physical activity is the easy part. Hunger kills though and I blew it like BIGTIME several days this week. Its amazing how little 1500-1600 calories is each day(my goal calories). I am VERY active though on top of working out doing interval/strength training 4-5 days a week for 20-30 minutes at a time and abs EVERY single day. I walk, take the kids to the park, grocery shop and clean with a baby in the Moby many hours every day, Christmas shop, and although your jaw will probably drop that I managed to lose 2 lbs this week, keep in mind the activity. My big goal this week: STOP eating so much. Although "most" things that go in my mouth are realllly healthy, its still remains too much!

12/4- 1880 cals
12/5- 1505 cals
12/6- 1960 cals
12/7- 2585 cals
12/8- 2855 cals OOPS! :) lol just bein honest here
12/9- 1695 cals
12/10- 1660 cals

So hindsight is 2020 and coincidently that is exactly what my average daily calories were ;O lol yipes~ If only I had kept my calorie count down, imagine what I would have lost this week? Oh well baby steps and at least the scale is moving in the right direction along with inches which are shrinking quick! To be honest, I am a healthy weight according to any Dr or BMI chart, however, we all have a size or weight that feels best to us. I prefer 124-127 usually, but for now I am just working more on getting my waist down to be a nice hourglass and I have no idea how low I will have to get my weight to get a really good WHR. I don't think I could or would want to get below 120, but you never know.....I just have to see how I look as I drop more lbs. I have weighed as lil as 112 after my first baby(on accident..just too busy to eat), but everyone was trying to feed me and telling me I looked sick soooo we will see.

Overwhelmed

2010-12-10T11:58:00.000-08:00

I know everyone does all these wonderfully inspirational postings especially with holidays here, but I am just gonna be very candid today. I am EXTREMELY overwhelmed right now. I find myself wanting to just escape from everything. I have tried the old get out with your girlfriends trick and it worked for THAT evening lol. I have relaxed with Nate and had some wine here and there, taken bubble baths, painted my nails yada yada. While these things can be nice and a small pick me up.....it does nothing for the insurmountable amounts of laundry piling high, the never ending dishes that I must hand wash since we have no dishwasher, the constant cooking and meal planning and grocery shopping which ends up several times a week as we ALWAYS run out of odd things like Q-tips or shaving gel or bread, the breaking up fighting, the homeschooling, the needy toddler and newborn, a houseful of kids who have been passing around a 104 degree fever all week, the nagging husband who says the kids watch too much TV(its a crutch to help entertain them lately while I do chores I admit it), lack of time for working out, lack of time to shower each day(HELLO major hygiene issue here), the stupid holidays and stupid money, its just everything. Jaxxon is a very easy baby so thankfully I am not dealing sleep deprivation too. I am eating plenty of vitamin rich foods and taking fish oil and prenatals each day to help sustain me but no matter how much "me time" or vitamins I get, I can't help how overwhelmed I am right now. I love my kids, but there are a lot of them and everyone needs something different every time I sit down to nurse. I worry I am asking too much of the older kids in needing their constant help with this or that. I try to divide and conquer......but again, I am still overwhelmed. Hoping this feeling passes soon and that its just having added a new baby that has caused such feelings. I have decided for the first time that I need birth control. I honestly. can. not. handle. another. child. I dont know how permanent that feeling will be but I feel very done. I think 1 more would land me in mental health because I am verging on heading there now.(kidding, kind of) I am planning to get Mirena IUD so if any of you have it or have used it can you let me know what you thought of it? I have to pay out of pocket nearly 1,000 dollars for it so I would love some feedback about this BC before I try it. I just don't want to try and remember a pill each day, not to mention when I had to take it for 2 months several years ago after a d/c for m/c, I was really mean on it. I just want to feel normal but not get pregnant. Thanks for any constructive advise you may have to offer:)

Weekly Health Update 4:)

2010-12-04T08:21:00.000-08:00

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 130lbs (-3lbs)

Waist: 28.75" (-1.75 inches OH YEA)

Hips: 38.25" (-.5 ")

Bust: 37"(+.5 milk is full haha)

Arm: 10.5"(same)

Thigh: 21.5" (-.5")

WHR: Waist(28.75) divided by Hips(38.25) = 0.787096774 TODAYS: 0.751633987 this is excellent! My goal still remains to get as close as possible to .70

Getting VERY close to having the IDEAL 10 inch difference between hips and waist! Mine is 9.5 inch difference right now and I am very proud.
Waist to Height Ratio is ideally less than .50. Mine is: 0.46 bleh

TODAYS:

0.442307692
Everything is moving down!! My goal here still remains to get as close to .40 as possible

Okay, so I want to be very honest about my eating. I am keeping a detailed food diary and despite having not done too well with eating, inches are still coming off and I still lost another .5 lbs so I am really happy with that. My body is very sculpted and tone right now. Its getting a lil better each week, but more importantly I feel better. I have been VERY good with my activity levels as far as shopping, decorating, cleaning, walking with my neighbor, walking all day Wednesday at Knotts, and working my abs out like crazy along with the SHRED dvds. Yes I attribute my losses this week to my activity. Here are my calorie totals this week, but keep in mind even when they seem high, I am nursing a very healthy, chubby lil guy and I never sit like literally never.

11/28-1640 calories
11/29- 2121 calories
11/30-1475 calories
12/1-2255 calories BUT walked all day at knotts
12/2-2395-calories Think I was very hungry from walking all day the day before and then walked all day this day too Christmas shopping(hey shopping can burn mega calories if you do it all day lol)
12/3-1620 calories

So averaged out, that came to 1917 calories a day......not too bad, but probably why I only lost .5 lbs this week.

Even days with many calories, I am eating pretty darn clean with the exception of an ocassional cookie or pasta meal. I typically have a slimfast for breakfast simply because I hate breakfast and its easy. Then 24 almonds or string cheese with an apple or something for a snack. Next is lunch, MOST days its a lean cuisine meal, a huge salad with a teeny bit of olive oil and lemon for dressing or tuna and whole wheat crackers with baby carrots. Afternoon snack might be an activia yogurt with 1/2 cup of cottage cheese. Dinners are usually a lean meat, veggie and small amount of noodles/rice/potato/yam/etc. I make the carb in dinner VERY small. Then I have 1 more snack right before bed. Sometimes its simply a glass of milk, other times a string cheese.....usually something lower in carbs right before bed as you will sleep better without carbs before bed.

Knotts Merry Farm and My New Neice!

2010-12-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

What a crazy, fun, festive week! We went to Knotts Merry Farm on December 1st and low and behold my sister who was a week overdue, had her sweet baby girl that day while we were at Knotts. I went the next morning and got to meet my precious neice, Leah Brook. She looks just like her daddy. Later that day, we went and got our Christmas tree and yes my family is nuts and chaotic thus the crazy faces in the Christmas tree pics:) haha

Awwww

2010-11-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

Aw I am so happy, I got to see my sister one last time today before she is induced tomorrow(1 week overdue). Got to see my mom and niece too. It was a great day.

Health Update Week 3

2010-11-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Height: 5'5"
Weight: 130.5lbs (-2.5lbs)
Waist: 29" (-1.5 inches YESSSS)
Hips: 38.25" (-.5 ")
Bust: 36.5"(same)
Arm: 10.5"(same)
Thigh: 22" (same)

WHR: Waist(30.5) divided by Hips(38.75) = 0.787096774 TODAYS: 0.758169935

Waist to Height Ratio is ideally less than .50. Mine is: 0.46 bleh

TODAYS:
0.446153846

Its coming off slowly but that is good because hopefully it will stay off! I am proud of my efforts and losing 2.5 lbs and several inches off my waist despite turkey day being smack dab in the midst and now I gotta keep on keeping on with Christmas right around the corner. I have to admit being broke is a good thing for dropping inches and pounds. We just plain don't have the money to be buying a bunch of goodies and crap food:)

No Weekly stats today

2010-11-26T07:34:00.000-08:00

From a couple hours before we ate turkey! My belly is getting there and I am workin on that hourglass:)

I will probably do them Sunday or Monday instead. In light of all the turkey I ate, bloating I have and swelling from salt overdose lol I just dont wanna step on a scale or measure anything. I can tell simply by my tight fitting jeans that I am ickity from too much Thanksgiving food. Off to work out!

Shameless Baby Love

2010-11-23T18:08:00.001-08:00

Jaxxon at 6 weeks

More snow last night

2010-11-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

racoon tracks were EVERYWHERE this morning

Some Fun Pix

2010-11-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

Kayla right before family Christmas photo

MaeMae before Christmas pics

Sisters:0)

His handsome Christmas pic attire

Jaxxon's first snow

Our house

View of our street

Musket's first snow

Now thats an igloo haha

View from balcony

There were actually 4 racoons in our yard the other night

Perfect chaos

My love

Lake Arrowhead 2010

He loves the outdoors hehe

Maemae in the flower garden up in Arrowhead

Kayla is getting so grown up

Ebbers and Jax

Lake Arrowhead

foggy

All these pix were taken over the last 2-3 days, went from beautiful sunshine to dumping snow! Its so gorgeous though I can't complain a bit, rain, snow or shine.....mountain weather is unbeatable!

Health update

2010-11-19T11:01:00.000-08:00

I am not convinced of the Schwarzbien plan for my particular body type any longer. The scale didn't budge until I started doing the shred DVDs for the last 3 days and even then I only budged 1 lb and honestly I have never felt worse in my life energy-wise. I feel like a walking zombie with such low carbs. I had one cheat day and I was feeling terrible until that day, the last 2 days again I feel like death. I made it one whole week and 1 day on this plan and I am so irritable, dizzy shaky, etc despite writing down everything I ate the other day and realizing I was getting almost 2200 calories a day(another reason I probably only lost 1 pound all week) and I typically don't take in that many calories and feel much more vibrant. I am calling it quits on this plan and I will take up body for life as of today and report back next week. Basically I won't be counting calories just the same as this past week but I will be eating lower fat and 6 mini meals a day with 1 protein and 1 carb per meal and veggies with 2 of those mini meals. I will keep up with the shred DVDs every other day as there is no way to walk outdoors anymore since snow season has begun and the weather is frigid hitting low to mid 30s midday with no sunshine. So, those are the tweaks I am taking in the health regime this week.

Stats from last week and today:
Height: 5'5"     Same today

Weight: 133 lbs Todays: 132

Waist: 30.5"      Today: 29.5" I thank the SHRED for this inch gone!! woohoo

Hips: 38.75"      Today: 38.7"
Bust: 36.5"         Today: 37" (gained .5" probably milk is full lol)

Arm: 10.5"         Today: 10.5"

Thigh: 22"           Today: 22"

WHR: Waist(30.5) divided by Hips(38.75) = 0.787096774 TODAYS: 0.762273902
Waist to Height Ratio is ideally less than .50, but most beautiful at 39.5 for women, Mine is: 46.9 bleh
TODAYS: 0.453846154
Amazing how much 1 in off my waist changed those ratios!! YAY me, small progress, but progress nonetheless

Sample day on body for life eating plan:

I will be adding coffee back in, I LOVE coffee and some things in life are worth splurging for, especially as cold as it is here!
Breakfast: Slimfast shake, high protein kind
Snack: fruit and string cheese
Lunch: grilled chicken sandwich with veggies on it and use a whole wheat thin bun
Snack: hummus and crackers
Dinner: salmon, sweet potato and asparagus
Snack: cottage cheese and activia yogurt(these are so yummy together)

I like this plan better as it allows more carbs and even if I wanted to eat something unhealthy, no biggie just make sure it has a protein and carb ie a slice of pizza with a salad for lunch, just make sure the pizza has some sort of meat and cheese on it. It allows more flexibility and is a great way of life as I was on this plan for about a yr after MaddiMae's birth. It seemed to work for me and keep my weight and body composition nice along with constant flow of energy all day not feeling all drained and icky.

11/21 Update: I lost another pound and another .25 inches off my waist! I feel better and my energy is returning on this eating plan.