In the Lab Without a Label

la·bel
1. An item used to identify something or someone, as a small piece of paper or cloth attached to an article to designate its origin, owner, contents, use, or destination.
2. A descriptive term; an epithet.
3. A distinctive name or trademark identifying a product or manufacturer, especially a recording company.

I have always appeared strong and put together to people around me, but really, I have become a people pleaser. I think this was mostly due to being an outcast online as I was raised much differently than many of those women on babycenter. I began this new thing over the past few years, trying to sort myself into the labels that fit me. I wanted to please my peers so I needed to find my peers by labeling. I have obviously had trouble with this. Many of us do, we want to feel acceptance, to fit in, and to be loved. As a mother this pressure becomes greater because its no longer just clothes and music we are matching to our peers, it parenting styles, belief systems, family roles and whether mothers work or stay home. Each person wants to believe their label is the "right" one and so you will often hear them boast of it in order to entice you to join them in their label. What they are in fact doing, is trying to gain your acceptance and "jump" you into their label or their kind. The same happened to me with religion. What on earth did I think would happen when I went to a large family board online and asked about all their religions? Of course each sent me a private message(kid you not, flooded my inbox with over 60) about their religion and why it was the "correct" or "right" one. We had been going to a nondenominational church where I just felt I was sinning and repenting each week and being told God's grace was always enough. I wanted to believe him, but I just couldn't. I wanted more, I wanted a place to make me accountable. We went eeny meeeny minney moe and picked Catholic, went to the church and to be real frank, got creeped out by the sexless priests. I don't want my children molested. We are all human and sex is a natural urge so the vibe we got there was not great. On paper it seemed nice, but in reality, priests are human too and unfortunately lack of sex for so long has caused many of them to fall into molesting of young boys. I have 3 young boys so I cant say that this didn't scare me. It weighed in heavily so we Xed this off our list. Next was the LDS church. It fit the bill well. We went to church and received our official Mormon love bombing and all was well. I now had a place where everything in life seemed grand. I would have my label, "my" people and be accountable. I would work my way to the temple in hopes of working my way to heaven. The missionaries were stunningly handsome and persuasive as well so that helped the baptism process to be speedy. Well, that coupled with the fact that I had pressure from all ends. The whole church loved our family, my Internet pals were all telling me it was "right" and the "only way to have the fullness of the gospel" and I think the there was pressure to fit in and be accepted by these people who immediately seemed to love us. In all this, what I failed to realize is, we just have to accept ourselves. A friend emailed this to me recently and it REALLY hit home. "Don't try to live up to every ones expectations of what they think you should do with your life because you will always have someone disappointed." How true is this? I have to quit being wishy washy. I have been acting like a puppet on a string. I have to stand firm. I know I will have all the pressure of the Mormon love bombing coming back to save me from a life doomed to hell for not going to church there, but this is how it is. Nate and I discussed it thoroughly for a while now and we wont be going back. We will let the bishop know and ask him not to send anyone over, to call us or bother us again. We will return items pertaining to callings and just be done with it. This doesn't mean our relationship with Christ ends, it continues......it continues with loving sufficient grace of His mercy. I realize looking back, I dont need humans keeping me accountable and locking me out of a Temple for "bad behavior." What I need is to read my scriptures, take care of my family and most of all, His grace. The thing I must work on is being strong in who I am. I was always strong as a party girl. I was a confident atheist, unconcerned for others who were concerned for me. In other words, I would give them the finger. In reality though, I am a grown up now and I need to get back that confidence and politely decline to deal with, associate with or bother with those trying to convert me to some "new" way of being. I am just gonna be me. If I dissapoint you, get off my blog, delete me from your friends list on myspace, dont call me, get on with your life because I dont need you in mine. Oh and one last thing before I get off here, the labels are crap. I am not a label anymore. My friend Crystal has always told me to get away from the labels, but I always blew her off assuming she was just one more person trying to give me advice and this past year I have had it coming from too many directions. She was right though. I am stripping the labels from my headlines. I am not a lab speciman, you can't label me anymore. You can call me Janis!

Dust Bunnies-warning this wont be inspirational or thought provoking so please dont bother with it!

DISCLAIMER: I know this may hurt some beautiful LDS people I know so in some ways I hope they don't read it. In some ways it hurt to even write this for the sake of them, but I have be true to myself. I love all you beautiful people regardless though and I have no hard feelings towards LDS members.

I have had writer's block lately, you know that stupid little fog that clouds your brain from putting thoughts together eloquently? I am just lost. Plain and simple. I am clear and focused, but lost. I am so sure, but unsure. I am ready and willing, but for what? I am choosing the straight and narrow and doing all the "right" things, but I am falling short. I am working hard, but people are all hypocrites, including myself. I am not looking for responses here. I am just typing to empty my brain of its fuzz bunnies. I went to McDonalds play place today with a friend and she sat and complained about being lonely or sorta of lost and I swear I have felt this same thing lately. My life is very lonely. No one could begin to think it could be because well, I have 5 little humans I interact with all day. The truth is though, I am meatier than the kids. My conversations have way more depth than a child can or should understand. The adult things I want to say all get trapped away because I am alone so often. With Nate working, I feel like a starved child who fiends on adult interaction at the park for an hour. Its my drink, it my high for the week, its RIDICULOUS. Problem being, in my ward there are only 4 other younger moms and 3 work so its impossible to get together with them, they are juggling a hectic life. The one who doesn't, I just found out is moving soon so really what I am I left with???? Myself or my old friends. Sure my old friends do Non-LDS things and say non-LDS things, but I am lonely. I feel like I don't know where I fit in. Well, I know where I fit in, but the place I am trying to mold in is making it very hard. Its not easy dropping everything and flipping a switch overnight. We have held up well thus far, but I think we are both like 2 Atkins's dieters, we are getting sick of protein. We want some carbs. Our lives are out of balance. Everything is being thrown out of balance. Its hard. Well I know what "they" would say, "go to your bishop" or "do what is right even if you are completely miserable" or, "that's Satan." Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I am given this one life to live and I was living in complete whacked out, sinful, destructive misery and fun. I am now living in a hell of perfection that I can't possibly maintain. I don't believe if there even is a God, that he would want someone to waste their life in that fashion. No one should. Being born into something makes it easy and normal so those people I discredit because they would never begin to understand another lifestyle. I feel like one of those Hispanics that, when they get mad, they start yelling in Spanish(their native language). When stress hits, I get tired, mad, whatever, I am wanting to go crawling to my native language----old friends, a beer, a night on the town with a miniskirt. Its a hard thing to unprogram a programmed person. I know what is right, but what if none of it is real or even exists. What if I do just head to the store one day and grab a 6 pack. I will have raised my children up to be mr and mrs Molly Mormon supremes and they will HATE me, shun me and call me a hypocrite. Now maybe this is me reasoning with myself knowing that I will eventually crack and start speaking my native language. Its hard because I have done good until the stress of life lately which has me feeling like a jack in the box, ready to crack open at the slightest cranking. In all honesty I have completely had to shut ME out. I have shut down and suppressed and closed all doors to my soul in the hopes of saving it and living in Heaven someday. I just hate how wishy washy I look, but really, I want to know what is out there and every experience has made me me. I don't care who thinks what about me, this was part of where I had to go, it was my journey and I learned. I don't know whether I will be going back to that particular church, I would prefer to go where I am accepted regardless of whether I had a drink yesterday or whether I wear perfectly covering clothes at every moment. I want to live well of course. I wont regress back that person, but I also have to let me be me. I refuse to become some wild heathen, but there is a balance and I have learned this balance only by living both extremes. Its been such an eye opener, a great experience. I will leave this post with the testimony that I DON'T know what is really true, but I am searching, pondering and going to live as a good mommy(my #1 goal) and not some retched hypocrite. I may not be a hypocrite yet, but I will be, I just know me and one day, I will crack and I will do something against one of the legalistic teachings and that will be it, my kids will hate me. I cant give "them" that control of my children. My entire family has a drink on a holiday or BBQ so it isn't as easy as so many say......their families are the same as they are. I am who I am and that is all that I am and that's all that I want to be. I CAN be anyone, but I don't want to. I am me. I am me......I know right from wrong, but by my own standards, not by the standards of a church who has many beliefs that are not even back by the Holy Bible itself. We will live with morals and values, but I cannot and will not continue to measure myself against an impossible perfection of righteousness that isn't even attainable. By His grace or mercy or in your own works, it isn't attainable. I do now realize why depression rates are so high in this group(3 of my 4 friends my age from church are on antidepressants), its because you are made to feel like you aren't good enough every week that you sit there. Its too hard. I also know that torturing my children and myself to sit for an hour and a half every week alone(since Nate is always working) isn't good for any of our emotional well being. You have all heard the religiously raised children talk about how wild they go at 18, its because they suppressed and feel shame every week. Granted the kids love the 1.5 hours after 1st meeting because they have a fun kids class, but they have those classes anywhere you go or you can do crafts at home. Anyhow, I am now nursing my sweet Kenna so typing is getting strenuous under the weight of her little head so I will stop here. Maybe I am having a bad day, maybe I am having a good day, maybe its all a load of crap, maybe its not, maybe the dust bunnies just had to get out.

OMGosh OMGosh OMGosh I AM a PRISONER of my own Confusion

I swear I flip-flop everyday. I am struggling coming from such a liberal background and liberal behavior to be a stuffy conservative(no offense those who are conservative). I feel like I am 2 different people stuck in one. I know I want the structure and good things from a religion for my kids and Nate wants it for them as well, but for me, eh I am a crazy free spirit. I CANT make myself beleive. WHY oh WHY cant I? I dont want my kids to deal with this kind of confusion later on either. I want them grounded somehow so I feel I must endure church and basically lie to myself and everyone around me in order to have this for my kids. I beleive in some supreme being but I dont beleive It would want me to feel this way and feel so miserable and trapped. Why does religion feel so entrapping? I like to swear and act like a crazy person and get tattooed, yet the rational side of me is telling me it was a phase and I need to grow up now and be the mom of 5 that I am. I am reallllllly working on swearing, but this is a daily struggle. I grew up in a potty mouth family and have raised lil pottymouths as its never been a big deal to me for kids to say bad words since they are only words. Gosh I just feel like I am turning my life 180 around and I dont know if I like it. I guess I feel like its the "right" thing to do, but I dont know that its making me happy. It feels like religious people live these really boring lives, giving 10% of their wages up and struggling financially all in the HOPES of eternal life. What if it doesnt exist? What if this is all a crock? I have read the whole New Testament and the Book of Mormon, most of the Old Testament and I really struggle with beleiving these are words of a person everyone refers to as God. What if people wrote it to create a way for an instruction book for life, including charity, humility, good deeds, giving, loving, correct behaviours and attitudes, obeying laws, etc. I want it for my kids but not me I think. I think I only want it for them because it will help them to be "Good" people by the opinion of society and they will be viewed as well-mannered and Christian. Yet, my kids arent taking well to it either. Well, Kayla is, but Wyatt will pray and say at the end, ABUTT in place of AMEN or if he gets mad at me and says, "God is a stupid ass." and then he laughs and covers his mouth because he knows it upsets me. I dunno. I flipflop so much on the issue. I am downright sick of my own brain, lol! PLEASE any words of advise? email me if you like, natejanis@adelphia.net Iam just writing, venting, whatever, this is just a random afternoon post while the kids are behaving! I am very open and will read anything you send my way

THANK YOU MUCH for reading!

LDS Conspiracy Theory

This is the first bit of information I have ever read about the LDS that REALLY impacted and freaked me out for 5 minutes LMBO! IF these are my beleifs, then heck this would be pretty cool if you ask me! Probably moreso because Romney was running for president recently and this theory has a lot to do with politics. PLEASE POST COMMENTS about this and what you all think. Thanks so much!

"Conspiracy LDS Conspiracies Reveal Themselves
ConspiracyConspiracy Conspiracies are recognized when one observes the practices of the Mormon Church, also known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
The scholarly book The Mormon Conspiracy reveals how the Latter-Day Saints church (LDS) is organized to restrict individual freedoms, individual thought, independence and democracy. The Mormon Conspiracy documents how the LDS church leaders are involved in these conspiracies to control the United States government, and eventually the world, by establishing its "Kingdom of God" on earth. The words "Kingdom of God" are in quotes, because in reality this is not a Kingdom of God that the Mormon Church wishes to establish, but rather a Kingdom of the Mormon Church, led by fifteen men, the Presidency (three men) and the Quorum of Twelve apostles of the church. The Mormon church members are controlled by an authoritarian organization much like the Monarchy that prevailed in such European countries as France and England before the French Revolution and before a democracy was established in England.
The book The Mormon Conspiracy reveals to the reader how the Mormon church requires religious obedience from members and teaches them that individuals need not think for themselves concerning church doctrine as taught by the Church Authorities, a form of mind control. This is evident even in areas of non-church affairs, such as politics and economics where the church hierarchy expects members to follow its directions. One proof of this is the church’s involvement in defeating the Equal Rights Amendment in 1982 as well as numerous other church-led political activities. The LDS church has a disproportionate influence in such governmental departments as the FBI, the CIA, and the FCC (Federal Communications Commission).
The Mormon Church is gaining influence in Congress with the election of greater numbers of Mormon members. Church influence is obvious in the lobbying of congressional members to support Mormon programs and to vote for laws that further their goals. Church hierarchy involvement is apparent in all aspects of government, including the Supreme Court, as shown by the church’s filing of a legal brief with the court, opposing a New Jersey Supreme Court ruling that would prevent the National Boy Scout organization from excluding gays from Boy Scout groups.
This book was written by Charles L. Wood, Ph.D. Emeritus Professor at the University of Akron.
Mormons regard the President (or Prophet) of the church to be infallible(((***UM NO WE DONT, we recognize them/him as a fallible human being!***), and they believe that he has direct communication with God, therefore can do no wrong or make a mistake. (((HAHA BOLOGNA))))Members believe that Church Authorities (fourteen apostles in addition to the president of the church) are also infallible.(((((BEEEP WRONG AGAIN LOL)))) Therefore, these fifteen Authorities have control of the Mormon Church. There is no democracy in the decision making of the church, since all appointments from the highest to the lowest offices in the church are made under the umbrella of the church president. If the Mormon Church were to gain control of the United States there would be no secret ballot election of congressional representatives, no secret ballot election of state legislators, or local governmental officials. All of these officials would be appointed by the President of the Mormon Church, with assistance from other church officials.((((BAWAHAHAHAHA))))))"

LDS it is! No more backpeddling

Whether I am right or wrong, I know Heavenly Father wants us to pick a place and worship him and this is the place I love best so why NOT go! Okay Nate and I talked A LOT and last night we were pretty certain we would stop going. This AM Nate takes Kayla to sell brownie scout cookies at his Dads office(real estate place hes managed for like 25 years) and one of the ladies pulls him aside to talk while Kayla is selling cookies with Grandpa. She tells him that she heard we had been going to the Mormon church and how excited she is for us. She tells him some other things(looooooong story) about the church and bears her testimony. Nate comes home in a sorta voodoooed out, says to me that we should probably keep going lol! I think the church is true and when wanting to leave it, I realize that all the blessings we have had lately may be thrown out and I dont want to give that up. Okay so we will be there Sunday! Annnd the missionaries will be here tomorrow night again as usual.

Large Family Board on Babycenter

For anyone who doesnt know about it, its seriously what sustains me during rough days. http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus5712 I love the girls there. In fact I have been a member there for 4 years. I have been a lurker on the babycenter LDS board http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus11962 for about 1.5 years and recently began posting there a ton. The girls there are sooooo neat. For a non LDS person, you will be completely turned on to the gospel by these super women!! I had a good friend on Large Families board today who reminded me in my state of current religious confusion how happy I seem lately and it reminded me that I have been and has to have been because of the LDS church, its the only thing I have done differently lately. I started going mid december. It feeds my spirit like nothing else ever has. I need to remember that and talk a ton with Nate about it and come to a decision.

errr Confusion

I posted on the LDS board on Babycenter about my recent feelings towards time commitment issues with the church and I got so many heartfelt responses that are further confusing me. Faith is such a struggle, why oh why??? Why did my parents do this to me? I dont want to do this to my children so I need to do something and fast and STICK to it! OMGOSH this is sooo creepy, the missionaries just called as I typed this:O Holy cow! Okay maybe God does want me there, I need to pray about it and pray for a huge sign to smack me in the head!

"God, please make it known to me which church I should go to and what you want for my life. I am so confused, worried, and excited to serve and teach my children to serve you. Just please knock me over the head with a sign to tell me where to go to worship you and sustain my family in your name. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!"

This is an older post from when I had a realization that I wanted to go to the LDS church

Old blog

Homemaking
Okay so I was raised with a homemaker mother and grew up what they call "countryish" on a small "farm"(at least thats what californians call 5 acres with more than 10 animals lol) then I went astray, following fashion, pursuing a career. I was gonna be the working mom.....no way would I do what my crazy mother did(stay at home all day, EW YUCK, NO way, not me) HA! Well its funny, I got that degree and went to work and started gaining things I wanted.....fancier clothes, brand new vehicles, boobs, a job, kids in daycare. Wow I realized how empty it all became in a hurry. I couldnt bare leaving my babies in the hands of others even if they were people I trusted and loved so much myself. So I quit my job and decided to stay at home again Jan 05. Its been a crazy wild ride with days of regret and wishing I didnt choose to stay home again. I had no routine, no schedules and felt utterly useless as a mother. I felt I wasnt doing a good job.....and I wasnt, but I had no idea how or where to begin to fix it and feel worth again. I decided to stop drinking and become pregnant. Pregnancy made me at least feel some worth at home as I was doing "something" productive, creating another life.
That died quickly when the miscarriages rolled around and instead of doing constructive things, I drank myself silly to ease boredom, waste time, rid myself of anxiety and drown myself out of the duties I didnt know how to do.
I quit drinking and started getting serious......reading books, searching to fulfill my spirituality that I craved, fix my home, find a way to make wonderful memories for my kids, give them a lifestyle I wanted to and do it organized. I had to read to learn how to do this. I also learned things from large family board on babycenter. I became "green" recently, cloth diapering and all....making my own detergents/cleaners/etc. I taught myself to knit late in 2006 and do that quit often as well as other handicrafts like sewing. I bought a book of traditions and we are begining those traditions this year for new years. We will really get back to the basics of celebration and life and we have a great curriculum we use and actually STICK to now. We do the Weaver. Its the most awsome daily dose of Bible. We have so much fun doing all our studies surrounding Gods words and promises. My life has meaning....their lives have meaning. My children have faith in monstrous amounts and I only hope to aquire half of it. Its slowly becoming less of a struggle for me though as I am coming to a close of reading the Book Of Mormon and begining Docrtines and Covanents and continuing through KJV reg bible each day with my children. This Gospel is so fulfilling with answers to every question that no one has ever had for me.
I cant beleive how much I enjoy being a domesticated housewife.I love knitting, cooking/baking all our meals from scratch even when I am exhausted, The accomplishment at the end of the day when I sit down for a lil tv and all my children are tucked in bed, safe......warm....clean.......and content, I know I am doing the right now and I have figured out what I have been searching for all along. I feel of the utmost value in my home as the head of childrearing, teaching and example of the Gospel to my children.......finally I have found my nitch. This is where I belong. I belong in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (hoping for a 2008 baptizm) and I want to raise my children in the faith and bring up moral and righteous children by teaching and by example. I have much still to learn and many clothes to throw away*haha time for some modesty in this womans wardrobe* but I know I can do it and its what is right for us. FINALLY!

This starts the Christian journey-----Why not LDS?

Well I sit here again typing about religion and possibly leaving another faith behind, process of elimination I suppose :0)
The big question I guess for most my age is Who am I? What do I stand for? What do I beleive?
I felt the need to hurry and get these questions answered as I have 5 kids who are looking up to me and need me to know who I am and are needing something to base their own beleifs off of.
Why LDS- I will be forever grateful to the church and how much it opened my eyes to so many things. I learned SOOO much. This journey definately wasnt in vain. You can never have a better education about something than fully immersing yourself in it. They are awsome people, so faithful and really living examples of the gospel and charity and humility and giving......alll the things I want for my kids.
Why not LDS- Well to put it simply, I beleive a person who has faith can beleive anything they want to if they choose to so I had no doctinal problems with LDS. My problems are small but large enough to send me astray. The time commitment of these awsome folks is the major reason we are leaving the church. Nate works 5-6 days a week and many many hours so it feels like an impossible feat to try to do church alone with 5 kids week in and week out for 3 hours(1 of which kids are with me the whole 1h20 min), having callings(everyone has a job in the ward), meetings for your callings, visiting teaching(each sister visits two sisters a month and 1 visits you, home teaching 1X per month(each brother visits one family per month and one visits you), ward activities, conferences etc. It would fill every second of Nates time off which isnt something we are willing to do.
What we will carry on regardless of being in the church-
Family home evenings on Monday nights. Its an evening with a lesson to talk about many of the great things the gospel has to offer. Ex of some lessons, Charity, humility, baptism, commandaments, tithing, respect, love, hope, faith, and sooo many more. I have a great book with around 100 lessons in it for monday nights! We also do a dessert or activity together and a prayer.
Following the Words of Wisdom. We no longer drink alcohol or caffeine and do not ever smoke anymore.
We beleive in God's Word and Wisom and plan to teach our kids of his plan of Salvation.
I beleive in callings for people given to us by God. We each have special talents and mine is to raise babies and follow the commandment to Be Fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth with beautiful babies OF course only as many as seems right or responsible and leaves my sanity in tact!
We still loosely use our Christian homeschool curriculum, but my beliefs with homeschooling are very rooted in child led learning and allowing my children to develop their areas of interest or areas of God-given abilities/callings by enabling them to do lots of things on their own that interest them.
What else do I stand for and who else am I- I am a woman of God first, then a mother, a wife next and ME last. All my other doings and pursuits in this life will follow AFTER those things.
I am eco-chic and this will remain forever. We eat organic mostly, I am getting my own wheat berry grinder to make my own fresh flour and I already make my own fresh wheat pancakes using the blender YUM. We use all organic cleaning products as well as hygeine products. Being domesticated is the most rewarding thing a mother can do. I knit, sew and have learned many arts of domestication I never thought possible. I cook and bake like no other.
I am a cloth diapering addict. I love cloth diapering. My stash of diapers is getting bigger by the day. I am getting ready to make another huge purchase of swaddlebees, Sandys and many other organic/hemp/bamboo diapers. Hemp and Bamboo are awsome and contain natural germ killers in them!
I am in love with babywearing. I full beleive in it and the benefits of it. I have oodles of websites if you want to read about it!
I dont beleive in (ABC)artificial birth control OR abortion. They both make me wanna yack. ABC causes mini abortions each month. Abortion is no different than killing a child because well, it is a child. Our bodies are so easy to figure out and avoid pregnancy that it confuses me how lost people can be when it comes to their own bodies.
I think breastfeeding for extended periods is one of the greatest gifts motherhood can offer and I wish I would have made the 2 year mark with my other kids, but am determined to with Kenna.
I beleive in growing our own food to the extent possible in our own yards, gardening is so awsome for kids and a great outlet for mommies as well. Its peaceful and gets us out and 1 with nature.
I beleive in the insitution of marriage lasting forever, we made a vow to God and unless someone is being beaten, there is always a way to make it work.
I strongly beleive in staying at home if a mother is able to. When I say able, I mean, if you have to give up cable TV and fancy clothes, then so be it, you should. As a mother, no amount of money can ever take the sacred place in which we belong, at home! Now, if your family would literally starve without you working, by all means, work. I have strong ideas about latch key kids or kids being raised by people other than their mommies.
Lastly I have drastically made over my wardrobe to cover my hiney and boobies up! I needed to get more modest having lil girls looking up to me as a woman and having boys who need to look beyond those things in women. I think its super important to be an example of the way I would want my girls to dress. Now I am not walking around wearing prairie dresses, but I am wearing a lil looser jeans, longer dresses and skirts and mainly, covering up the twins!
My music has changed these days as well. Why listen to smut? Listening to it endorses it and makes those things in life seem normal or good when indeed, they really arent.......my kids dont need to hear about shawtys booty going bouncing up and down......lol
I guess what I want for my kids is for them to grow up with decent, modest, happy parents who were around and sober and loving and raising them in Gods way to do what their calling in life is and to be happy doing it!
So if you read this far, my Gosh you are awsome! I am sorry for any I offended anyone as that is certainly not my intention, but my beliefs are strong and going and I hope to raise moral, righteous kids and I want to be a walking example of that myself. I am also working on humility and giving more, feeding the homeless or visiting the elderly, things that are important. We all know I have not always been that example and living that way brought me nothing but insecurity and unhappiness. Now just because we do these things doesnt mean my friends should. These are things we beleive together as a family unit, but I would never pass the judgement on to someone else as I am not so close minded to think others do it my way or no way. I beleive every family finds what works for them and these things work for us! I love my family, my children, my husband and myself. Wow thats not something that has always come easy. I guess I am sorta coming into my own these days.