Friday, April 29, 2011

Words Haven't Been Coming Easily

There's been a lot of stress. I'm not handling it well. I admit it. Moving again(3rd time in 3 years) is almost too overwhelming to think about. I am thrilled to move to our hometown again, yet the work involved and the logisitics of moving with 7 children, 3 horses, 2 dogs and a cat is not a picnic. I've literally worked myself up to the point of having full blown, nasty, panic attacks. I have struggled with anxiety on and off in my teen and adult years. My entire family battles this annoying problem and usually positive self-talk will do the trick but these attacks have been worse than anything I have ever experienced. I mean.....heart thumping, body parts going numb, profuse sweating, complete paranoia, insomnia etc. I have also completely stopped trying to lose weight months ago when I reached my goal weight of 125, WELL I AM NOW 114(way toooooooo bony/skinny) this is what I weighed in highschool. I cannot beleive I weigh this small of an amount as a mother of 7 who eats a lot and I am 5' 5".

I finally caved and went to see my Dr assuming I am under stress and this is just panic, I was admitting defeat and hoping for a medicine I could take just on the ocassion of a bad attack. What I found out instead is my TSH is almost undetectable. I am extremely hyperthyroid so that is why I have had such severe panic/weight loss and then add the stress of moving in there and its been a recipe for disaster. I am asking for prayers for peace and healing of my thyroid. I do not want to do anything radical medically. I just am praying fervently that it will right itself in a short time as I had this issue after my 3rd child as well and it just corrected itself on its own. Panic attacks are not fun and that is certain. I am just trying to medititate, pray and relax as much as possible as I beleive our mind-body connection is strong and I am guessing the stress through my body for a loop so I am working on destressing. Prayers are greatly appreciated though as I beleive strongly in the power of prayer. Thank you in advance.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


           I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall off the map. We have been super busy and are getting ready to move off the mountain back to our old town and I am soooo excited. I miss our homeschool group, family, friends, church.........everything. Its a very busy time for us but I will be updating more once we are in our new place. It has 1.25 acres, the horses have already been moved off the mountain and are loving their new pasture and sunshine! We are working hard to get the house ready for move in. We are praying that we will be in by May 1st but there is a lot to be finished. Oh and for those who are wondering why we are moving, well the mountains have caused us way too many health issues including all of us being severely vitamin D deficient and our horses have had a terrible time keeping weight despite shelter and blankets so its just not for us. We made it 10 months but they were long, VERY long.