Wednesday, July 23, 2008
This baby LOVES plums! I am sure it helps that they are homegrown, organic plums straight from our tree:0) She has been eating these things for weeks now and she is a professional at it. It amazes me that she bites into them like I would and even loves the sourish skins. She is my cloth diapered, mostly organic fed/washed/etc, breastfeeding cutie. It just doesnt get better than a plum faced baby smiling!
Monday, July 21, 2008
While I sit considering my options with my blog, I wanted to address something else.....vaccinations. After having a child with Aspergers Syndrome, I have always been scared every time they inject my child. I feel as if I hold my breath for a whole day afterwards praying that they are the same as they were prior to shots. I have done some shots early on and then delayed til they were 2-3 and started "catching them up." After more research on the topic lately though, I really wonder, what is necessary? I do not want to go with "herd immunity" so I have chosen to eventually get my children all the vax I feel are worth the associated risks. My theory is basically this: am I more scared of them getting the vax with all sorts of things in it-thermosal, aluminum, msg, and so many other horrible additives that can trigger scary reactions, or the disease itself. I starting thinking about this more in depth the past few days as I deal with Wyatt who seems to be worsening lately. It could just be the double ear infection we have been battling for a month now too, but my thoughts always wander back to those shots. He was overloaded with shots at his tender size(5 lbs) and age(newborn). They gave him more to "protect" him in his very fragile state that he was born in. He had intrauterine growth restriction and was born 5 lbs 8 ounces full term +1 day. He had no suck swallow reflex and his weight dropped to 4lbs, 13 ounces by 3 weeks old. He was starving. It was horrible. They were pounding him with shots so he wouldn't get this or that. I was 17 and didn't know better. This was before mercury was mandated out of shots as well. Even now though, no one checks up to regulate mercury actually not being in the shots(I learned this just recently). So I sat down and really looked at the shots that Drs want to give and when and came up with a schedule that I am comfortable with. My kids will still be given shots, but on my terms and it will be delayed mostly.
DTAP needs 4 doses instead of 5 if the last dose is given at 4+ years old.
What we wont do: influenza, rota virus, varicella, Hep A, Hep B, and pnuemonococcal for now. The only 2 I am considering later on are Heb B and Varicella.
Kenna will be getting DTAP at 2 years and again at 4 years and that will be covered. (she has already had 2 doses)
She has had 2 doses of HIB and will have no more
Measles and Rubella possibly at 4 and 6 years old....still debating about this one. The other kids have had it though. *mumps vaccine doesn't seem to be working anymore so there is no point to that one
She has had 2 IPV and will get her last IPV at 12 months
We will have titers done at 5 or so to check for immunity for DTAP, IPV and MMR
Future children vax schedule will be:
9 months old DTAP, IPV
12 months old DTAP, IPV
15 months HIB, DTAP, IPV
4 years DTAP
Measles and Rubella MUCH later
If they dont get chicken pox by age 12, I will consider chicken pox shots as chicken pox can be pretty rough for an adult. I will also consider Hep B at this age.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Sometimes I forget this blog is public and write things that are just my own thoughts wrestling about topics or issues and when I go and find a bunch of crud scattered about the net via google about me, I can't say it doesn't hurt. I feel as though turning my blog private is something that may be better for me. I had it private a while back and then went public after gaining the strength to just brush it off, but I really think this is something I need to discuss with Nate. I may not have a popular way of thinking, but this isn't really written for others, its for myself, my children, or anyone in my family who wants to read about my thoughts when I am gone someday. Criticism is a *itch and I am not immune unfortunately. I feel down about myself this evening after reading some cruel things written about me and my family. I don't write this blog to be a "drama whore" as some have said about me. I write this blog as a real woman trying to do what is right.I went through and deleted all recent modesty posts as I have had more than my share of people being rude about those. I have reached two conclusions though, A) quit blogging heavy topics and just keep it all surface and simple or B) go private. I will update when I decide what to do.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
PLEASE PLEASE pray for us yet again. I cant believe it, I am in total shock.....but you guessed it, I just tested this am and another BFP. For those who remember I m/c June 10th. I felt really witchy and hungry the last few days and assumed af was coming, our bd timing wasn't anywhere close to O so this is a real shocker to say the least. I almost fell over when I tested lol. I called the dr and will be starting Progesterone today, oh joy! I am thankful to start it, but scared of how sick its gonna make me!
Update July 9th afternoon-I went out and bought a few more preggy tests. I took another and wow, huge difference in lines since just this morning. All is well, I just feel it. My lines are darker right now than they ever got with the last pregnancy that I just recently lost. This has to be a good sign. The Dr called in my Progesterone script and I go in at 4 this afternoon to pick it up and start it. The lady actually remembered me, she was such a sweetheart. All is going quite well so far. yay
July 10th update: Well I started Progesterone last night and seemed to be well. I got up this am happily ready to pee on another stick to see some even more beautiful lines than yesterday. Instead, I see faint, terrible lines. My heart is so sick. I dont understand why this keeps happening to me. I am so angry and I am trying not to be, but really I am. I have sat here the last 15 minutes in my head begging God to tell me why. What could be causing this? Nursing I wonder? Am I just not worthy enough to be a mother of 6? Does He think now is not a good time? What will the dr say now? Will he poke me some more to run tests? I am just hurting and sad. OF course bleeding hasnt begun, but I know it will in the next several days. Instead of celebrating being 4 weeks along today, I mourn and wait for newly discovered pregnancy to end once again.
July 11th update: So the pregnancy tests are still positive. I dont know what to think right now. I am asking the Dr for HCG and P testing when I call. I am hoping to get them to just draw today and again Monday. My temp was gorgeous this am, but that could be false from the P....who knows. I guess I am just praying for a miracle, but remaining realistic for my heart's sake. He is mighty above all though and I know that only He knows the outcome of this pregnancy and has good reasons for what what He does. I just pray so hard that we are able to meet this beautiful baby in March 2009. I just got off the phone with the specialist and he pushed it off on primary care to do the labwork so now I hope they will order it when I call. I swear all these protocols are ridiculous.
July 11th afternoon update: Well I just got back from doing all the bloodwork. Good news is my tests have gone totally negative so I can stop taking P and move on with the next cycle. We wont try, we dont prevent, God is sovereign and knows what is best for us and we will conceive only if it is meant to happen. As for the bloodwork, holy cow, that was insane. I almost fainted when the I saw the 10+ viles sitting there, esp when I stupidly glanced at them after they were all filled. I was tested for everything under the sun. Basically antiphospholipids, antigens, coagulating issues, you name it, I was tested for it. They also did an HCG which is probably completely negative since this afternoons tests are negative. This month is a complete repeat of last month, like to a T. If I start bleeding tomorrow than it will be exactly the same dpo that bleeding began even. Sorta weird. That tells me that whatever it is, it must be the same issue. My bets are that all is well and its simply low P. I will start P quite early next month. I am also calling to switch medical groups so I can get a new doc that believes in P before a BFP.
July 12th update: Still not bleeding, but my temp did plummet this morning and I am crampy. I am 16dpo and my tests are now completely negative. I stopped P last night and I am praying that bleeding doesnt begin until after our pool party today. I cant imagine being bogged down with bleeding and trying to help my younger 4 kids who dont know how to swim. I somehow feel better about everything today. I know its gonna be okay. I know I will eventually have a 6th child, in fact DH and I feel we are meant to be parents of 8 blessings. We have always sort of felt this way. My fertile years will run out much faster according to the medical world because of all the cysts I have so I think over the next few years, pregnancy will probably end up further and further spaced which is fine too. I am just thrilled how easily we are getting pregnant... I mean that is half the battle right? Praise God for that!
July 13th update: Well the bleeding finally began. Praise God for that. I was sick of sitting here waiting. This pregnancy lasted 1 day longer than my last, last month. I got my medical group switched and I will be seeing an excellent ob now who happens to be the same religion and has similar beleifs. That will make life much easier.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The fourth of July fireworks were amazing. We got VIP access to the area behind the highschool, it was reserved for cops/firemen. The grand finale was the most beautiful I have ever seen. It was intense and just really popped. The kids had so much fun, even Kenna liked it! The weather was perfect, Nate got to go.....it just couldn't have went better.
On the home front, life has been overwhelming me lately. I am trying to take it one step at a time, but it seems as usual I have dove in headfirst to too many things at once. We started homeschooling for the 08/09 school year 3 weeks ago and that is taking 3 hours+ a day. We are enjoying it to some extent, but the program we bought is VERY full and requires quite a bit of reading for littles. On top of that, we went out and spent 2000 at Lowes and bought all the new bathroom supplies to renovate, derailing our Dave Ramsey plan for the month. Upsets me cause we are so close(3500 bucks) from being debt free. Oh well, Nate wanted to take a break from that just for this month and do the bathroom instead and I really can't blame him. I am also working harder to be more submissive. Back in the day, I woulda said, "no way, we are toooo close" but the newer me knew that this is his place to make this decision and really it has to be done(our bathroom is in shambles and having waterloggin on the walls and other issues) so I know he didnt make the decision lightly. He demolished the shower slip and has almost completed the tile for the shower/tub. We used 13 inch tiles in there and he replumbed our old plumbing to suit our new modern faucets. We picked out dark bronze french country style faucets with a huge rain shower head, antique white vanity/framed mirror/shelf for above the toilet, marble counter top, overlay porcelain sink, toile/gingham shower curtain, antique/country style furnishings and decor(got those mostly on ebay), a blueish hue for the walls, a bronze/antique looking lightbar fixture and a nice dark 13" neutral tile for the floor(same as the shower). I am excited to see the final product, but its a few weeks away! We took before pics. I will definitely post before and afters in a later update of the remodeling. Next we will tackle the kitchen. The kitchen wont be quite as tough or need gutted like the bathroom did.
Kenna is still nursing around the clock, we are still cloth diapering and she is crawling everywhere and really well. She pulls up on everything and stiffens when you sit her down, she wants to walk so badly. We are still trusting in the Lord's perfect timing to be blessed with our next baby. For now, we are just eating Kenna up.....she is the absolute sweetest. She is spoiled rotten.
The big kids are finding that having no/very limited TV isn't so bad after all, there IS life after TV. Oh and my peaceful parenting has turned my children into heathens who disrespect any and everything and we have decided to remain peaceful, but add consequences because it just plain didn't work for us. We gave it a good 6 month go and we yell almost never and life seems happier around here except for the newer issues of no respect for adults. We just feel we need to correct them more than simply stating what they did wasn't right and asking them not to do it again. This may work more as they get older, but right now we have decided on adding the correction of work. They get 1 warning, still not raising our voices, and then they are given an extra chore that must be completed immediately for any offense really. The usual offenses around here are: not listening when asked to clean up after themselves, hitting a sibling and not doing their 1 regular daily chore. That's really about all we have issues with and hitting is not that frequent.
Nate and I are good too, our marriage could always be stronger, but its hard to work on that when he works 65-80 hours a week and when he is home, he's working on the remodel. We are desperately wanting more time together, but this too shall pass. Its just a crazy season. I want our home nice for the holidays coming up. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a complete holiday freak. I decorate like there is no tomorrow. My house is overloaded and every room is decorated, including bedspreads that match the seasons. hehe I cant wait! I am already working on collecting more new and exciting decor, most from Terrysvillage.com, I love their stuff. Nate is just wishing we had more time for camping. All in all, life is good, busy, crazy and everything in between.
For now our schedule is as follows on Nates work days
7 wake up
7:15 make everyone breakfast and go water my garden
7:30 clean up breakfast and give kids something to play with (blocks/puzzles/craft)
8 start a load of laundry and work out while kids are playing
9 make kids brush teeth while I do hair/make up
12:30 clean up lunch and kids go outside to play in the water or just play
2 inside(some tv some days for maybe 30-60 minutes)
3 kid's chore time
4 my chore time
4:30 start dinner
5:30 clean up and do dishes, clean up the kitchen
6:30 kid's play outside and I water garden again