Sunday, September 16, 2018

Weekly Randoms, Projects and Baby Who?

PROJECTS:
Before 


 After


This is a sneak peak at changes to come in our bedroom. I am working room by room errrrr, well maybe just scattered about to get things changed in the house. I am spending all my free time when not doing farm work, getting things changed in the house! 

What do you know, I finished the bedroom before the blog haha, typical. Here is the bedroom in all it's nearly done glory. I have decor, end tables and a rug to add, but we are getting there. This no longer looks like the room Finnley died in and that is helpful. It helps me re-associate it with something less painful and horrible. 
Before-what I once considered cozy is now a dark and dreary looking hell to me.
 After-bright, cheery and clean
 Baby Chowder hanging out in the snuggly new bedding. He enjoys being camouflage in there!


RANDOMS of the week:
A preview of 4 of this week's meals for the week X 4 kids at Lourdes. 16 meals for Monday-Thursday.  
 FoOd! 

 Poor Everett and his wasp sting today. Of course I was gone grocery shopping so I thank my lucky stars Kayla is trained as a CNA and she's a great sister and gave him a dose of Benedryl and got him to the ED so I could meet them there. It took some more Benadryl and steroids, but thankfully no epi.
His body was covered head to toe in hives. :( Been a rough year for us with stings and allergies

 CSA Pick up with my little fruit farmer. 
 I did a thing
The boys getting in on that selfie action when I got home after I did the thing. 

Weekly baby update: 

The best part of this past week came Monday evening when I finally got a hold of the nurse who had my NIPT results. We first and foremost got the news that baby had less than 1 in 10,000 chance of any chromosomal abnormalities and then the best part of all came.......we are having a baby boy. I could hardly contain myself. I knew I wanted a boy deep down, but I prepared myself it would be a girl and honestly my symptoms felt "girlish" to me. It felt like the best plot twist ever to hear that beautiful word come from my nurse. She was chocked up on the other end herself. I was so hysterical with joy I could hardly speak. I didn't know I would be quite so emotional about it. It isn't that we wanted a boy to "replace" Finnley, but with all we have been through and all the dreams of a little guy running on the farm, breaking teeth in on raw corn cobs and cold carrots freshly dug from the dirt, it feels nice that those visions may now come to fruition. I know a girl could have done those things too, but this is really special to us. It feels right. Although we have more than we could need for this baby, I have already started browsing for him so he will have new things that are just his and some things that don't painfully rub in our loss. In some ways I think using Finnley's clothes and belongings will bring peace, but in others, I feel I may not be able to handle it. I guess we will figure it out as time passes.  This is completely uncharted territory for me. It's rough to navigate. 

For the next most asked question, his name. We have had a "boy" name chosen since we began trying to conceive and it isn't something we shared with anyone because, quite frankly, it will probably not be a popular choice. I can already feel the backlash as I type this, but this is our journey, our baby and our grief and I pray that anyone with anything ugly to say would keep it to themselves. We are choosing to honor our sweet Finnley Oliver by naming his baby brother Fynnick Oliver. We like it because if it feels wrong to call him Fynn for short, we can call him Nick. Again, the navigating is so hard because emotions change daily. This name was never something we needed to compromise on or much thought of changing. We tossed around some "F" boy names over the past 8 months and nothing ever felt quit like Fynnick. It was natural and feels right. 

A few pics from this week's gender reveal to the kids. I think it was just a little well received by the look on their faces and joy that exudes from them in them in the video :) 

 A BOY!!! 
 Proud Papa 

Tears......just happy good tears.




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