Sunday, July 20, 2008

Just a Thought

Sometimes I forget this blog is public and write things that are just my own thoughts wrestling about topics or issues and when I go and find a bunch of crud scattered about the net via google about me, I can't say it doesn't hurt. I feel as though turning my blog private is something that may be better for me. I had it private a while back and then went public after gaining the strength to just brush it off, but I really think this is something I need to discuss with Nate. I may not have a popular way of thinking, but this isn't really written for others, its for myself, my children, or anyone in my family who wants to read about my thoughts when I am gone someday. Criticism is a *itch and I am not immune unfortunately. I feel down about myself this evening after reading some cruel things written about me and my family. I don't write this blog to be a "drama whore" as some have said about me. I write this blog as a real woman trying to do what is right.I went through and deleted all recent modesty posts as I have had more than my share of people being rude about those. I have reached two conclusions though, A) quit blogging heavy topics and just keep it all surface and simple or B) go private. I will update when I decide what to do.

30 comments:

Sankat said...

Janis- That stinks that people have to go and do that. I started my blog so I can share with friends and family...however I don't think many people read it, so I will end up just being for my children...I guess it is the modern way to journal. Anyways. I hope that yo make the best choice for your family :)
Oh, you could do what I do...make your homeschool blog public and the other private, or something along those lines.

Sara said...

I read something once that I have always tried to remember. Hope this helps. I just love it. "What other people think of you is none of your business." Keep writting!

Christina said...

It if a FREE world and you should not have to quit writing about what you think or feel just because people that dont know you feel the need to judge you. If they are creating posts on the internet they must be really bored and should probably start a blog of thier own. If you have to go private but it is a free country and you can say what you want. I cannot believe people.

maryellenlewis said...

I'm sorry Janis. That stinks! I write about all kinds of political topics on my blog and I know not everyone likes or agrees with me, but I wouldn't want them to write horrible things about me and my family because of it. (((Hugs))) If you take your blog private, please invite me! I feel like you are a dear friend and I would miss you! I check everyday!

kejodabr said...

Please don't give up-either the blog style or your way of thinking. This is another way satan is trying to worm his way into your life--by trying to undermine your values and therefore trying to cut away at Christ's home(your heart!). I have just recently found your blog (last week in fact!) from a link from another's blog and added it to my favorites. I am a 34 year old mom pregnant with our 5th child. I have had 4 miscarriages in the past 3 years each after 12 weeks-the last one March 6, 2008 at 16 weeks. I can relate to you in so many ways. Just trying to go where the Lord leads without giving Him to much grief, and trying to be a good wife and mother the best way I know how(prayer!). Continue to be the woman God wants you to be and if that is offending others, GOOD! It seems anytime that God's word is spread, there are going to be some who deny it. Keep at it because you never know who is reading and how you may help in their lives. You already have in mine! Thanks,
Jessica in WI

Sandy said...

If you go private, I'd like to still read.
If you stay public...then there is going to come a point where you're going to have to say "the heck with what everyone else thinks"
Of course, that doesn't make it less hurtful to be sure.
I *know* there are many who disagree with our life choices...and when I post those things on my blog, there is always the potential for negative response.
Lucky for me, I have only to answer to my man and my God. Both are much more graceful than I deserve.
For the record, I like your blog. I liked reading your thoughts and studies on modesty.
I hope you decide to stay public. It takes a lot of courage to share intimate thoughts and inner workings, especially when you are trying to decipher the Lord's will on a sensitive subject.

Cindy said...

Janis, I posted to your other blog, and then reliazed you had more then one. I don't know if you rememver me, but I used to post on BBC. I just found your blogs through a link of other blogs LOL. I started feeling the same way about making mine private. I have not foudn anything about me on the net, and I have enjoyed finiding links to other Mom's blogs, especially those with large families. It sucks that people would take your stuff and spread it around :-( If you make it private please include me :-)

Jessica said...

I am sorry. I hope my posts have never upset you

Jessica

Laura said...

I'm sad for you, I think what you have written was great and from the heart, and not because I agree. I just feel it's freedom of speach/or thought. I started my blog for my family and friends to keep up with our ever crazy family, and along the way made a few new friends.I'd love to keep up with you and your family so, if you go private...could you count me in on your list? I'm praying for you and hope you have a better week!

Devon said...

Hey Janis,

I enjoy reading your blog and hope you still are around in the "public". The people who I *think* you are refering to are simlpy jealous! It's so easy to see that, but I'm sure it is hard to see that when it is you they are slamming!
Standing up for what you believe to be right is SO hard. People are persecuted for doing what is right....examples are all throughout the scriptures. I think if you have an influence for good, which you do, you should stand tall, blog proudly and ignore the "others"! You are being a disturber of Satan's kingdom and he's trying to silence you. Don't let it happen!

munchbucket said...

I am sorry you feel you need to "hide" your true self. I have enjoyed reading your blog. I may not always agree with you but you do give my points to ponder.

Mariesa M. said...

I found your blog because there were some girls on BBC discussing homeschooling and they posted a link to your blog. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I really liked your post on modesty. You did your research and were trying to figure out what was best for you and your family and it really inspired me to start thinking deeper about subjects and trying to find answers out of the scriptures. I think you are a wonderfull mother for homeschooling your little ones. Please don't let other peoples negativeness get you down. I have enjoyed reading your blog, so I hope you don't make it private. But if you do I understand.

eamaneimmortal said...

Good luck figuring out what you want to do. People will ALWAYS critisize what they don't understand. I think the people spreading stuff about you on the internet, aside from being immature, are just afraid. They watch you trying to do what's right and it makes them feel bad for living life they way they do, so they try to make you feel bad as well. As inspirational as blogs can be to others who agree with you, or want to understand you, they really are revealing private parts of your life. Some things aren't meant to be shared with the world. Do whatever you want, but remember if you go private, you should have one last public post telling them to kiss your white behind. ;)

Jan said...

Janis - I also have your blog set as one of my favorites! I was always so inspired by your posts on BBC and when you started a Blog and gave the link out - I really enjoyed reading about your perspective on things. You are such a grounded mother and wife and your insights into things are always so well thought out and researched. I admire your strong character and pray that the hurtful things - whatever they were - that were said about you - do not affect you or change the way you express yourself. You have nothing to prove to anyone - only to live a life that is pleasing to Our Lord. Anyways - thank you for all that you have shared and so generously allowed others to read.
Jan

Jan said...

Janis - I also have your blog set as one of my favorites! I was always so inspired by your posts on BBC and when you started a Blog and gave the link out - I really enjoyed reading about your perspective on things. You are such a grounded mother and wife and your insights into things are always so well thought out and researched. I admire your strong character and pray that the hurtful things - whatever they were - that were said about you - do not affect you or change the way you express yourself. You have nothing to prove to anyone - only to live a life that is pleasing to Our Lord. Anyways - thank you for all that you have shared and so generously allowed others to read.
Jan

chaosmama said...

Janis, I hope you don't go private, your blogs and research are interesting and thought provoking. I read pretty often. Who cares what other people think! I think its a shame that you deleted the modesty threads. Your blog is about you and what's important to you and your family and there's no need to censor yourself...

I don't know if you will remember me but I'm Cindy from BBC, I hope you'll add me if you go private.

Joni said...

I'm sorry that this has happened, Janis. Unfortunately, I think the internet has become a very easy place to spread gossip, with often hurtful consequences.
I really like your blog :-). I think I've said this before, but you remind me of myself when I was younger and had a smaller family :-). I relate to sooooo much of what you write about issues relating to finding one's way in homeschooling, dress, and family life.
I enjoy reading blogs that cause me to stop and think, and yours often does. I can understand if you feel the need to make it private, but I'll (selfishly ;-)) hope that you don't!

Joni said...

I'm sorry that this has happened, Janis. Unfortunately, I think the internet has become a very easy place to spread gossip, with often hurtful consequences.
I really like your blog :-). I think I've said this before, but you remind me of myself when I was younger and had a smaller family :-). I relate to sooooo much of what you write about issues relating to finding one's way in homeschooling, dress, and family life.
I enjoy reading blogs that cause me to stop and think, and yours often does. I can understand if you feel the need to make it private, but I'll (selfishly ;-)) hope that you don't!

lilpeasinmypodfrom~God said...

Seriously I didnt write this post as an attention seeking post. I was just upset last night reading the things I did. I am so shocked so many people read about me and actually appreciate what I write. Are you kidding me? I had no idea that anyone was inspired or anything by something on my blog and that is so flattering. I feel so stinking loved:) I suppose some of you are correct, Satan is trying to get the better of me and I just can't let him. I will carry on as usual.

Laura said...

OK I just wanted to come back and see how many other people want you to keep the blog going. Glad to see lots, then I looked at my comment again...what I meant to say is that I feel as you do and AGREE with your thoughts!!!

sarakay said...

I so enjoy your blog. I admire that you live your life with both passion and purpose. Since stumbling upon your blog I feel myself questioning what I do more... living with purpose rather than just going through the motions of everyday life. We are all "evolving" into the person we are meant to be...a metamorphosis of sorts. I am impressed that you are so "evolved" at such a young age. By expressing your questions, thoughts, and feelings publicly you are touching more people than you will ever know! You are reigniting the spark of passion that many people are missing in their lives...getting them to question how they live their lives and make improvements. Don't let a few negative and unfulfilled people ruin the good you are doing!

Jeanne said...

Janis, I love reading your thoughts. Please don't let those who wish to tear you down "win".

You are an amazing person and fantastic mom. Thanks!!

(Oh, I found you through BBC...I lurk there a lot, post occasionally.)

Janice said...

Janis

Although I usually don't agree with what you say doesn't mean that I don't enjoy reading your blog. As others have said it is very thought provoking and interesting. I hope you will continue and please consider letting me view your blog if you do make it private.

To me, different points of view and different people is what make our world interesting. You have a lovely family and thank you for letting me see into your world.

Janice in Virginia

SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said...

Hi Janis,

I'm also from BBC and just wanted you to know that I'm right there with you on some things (family, basic Christian principles, BF'ing, healthy living, etc.) and not-so-much on others but still enjoy reading your blog as one mommy blogger to another :-) Also wanted to add that there's a saying out there-I won't get this right but something about you really know you're somebody when people are talking about you!;-) I know that may not help, but hey, there are times I wish I was generating enough controversy and interest that I'd get more folks talking [pos + neg] and reading my blog! In the end, it's all good. Don't worry about the other stuff. Best of luck!

Adrienne said...

Part of life is learning to handle negative comments, as not everyone is going to agree with you. I think that differing opinions are great because they get us to think about ideas that are different than ours. Count your blessings that you live in such a free country where you are allowed to say how you feel.

Nicki said...

Janis -
Another BBC visitor here. I love reading your blog! Most the time I don't agree with anything that you say, but I really enjoy hearing how you decide what is best for you and your family. It's terrible that you've had those things written about you - you are such a sweet person and only doing what you feel is best for your family :)

Wayne and Melissa said...

Janis...If you're going to change may I make a suggestion...go private and invited me to keep reading! I love reading your deep stuff. It intrigues me and makes me go out and research or ponder things that I may not have thought of before. You have no idea what things I have learned from you. Don't stop writing because some people like creating drama.

scottishldsmummy said...

Janis, can I just say I love reading your blog and I would be really sorry to see your profile go private. I might not agree with everything you say but the world would be a boring place if we all thought the same and it's great to hear other peoples views and their reasoning behind it. Forget the minority that are giving you hassle, they're not worth it! Keep it up hun :) xxx

luv_of_saints said...

Janis,

This is not meant to be published on your blog but rather a private note. My e-mail is wed011406@yahoo.com.

Anyways, I know the pain of peoples hurtful comments. My baby Korinne has an extreme seizure condition which has shut down her breathing and put her on a venilator three times. Her last hospital stay in the ICU was two weeks ago.

Theres more about all that on my blog but I want to say this; People online are SICK! I have had mean comments made about her and even had someone say he hoped she died because I did not agree with something he said. I cannot begin to tell you how that made me feel.

I know of the comments made about you. I was hoping you would never come upon that. They were written on the anti-mormon site 'recovery from mormonism'. I am not an active Mormon at the moment but also not anti. I have been hurt by alot of people in my current ward and sometimes it's hard and I do lurk on that site. What I have seen there are people so ate up with hurt and anger over anything lds that they will take it out on anyone and unfortunatley, you got targeted. I have been targeted there myself. Those people, I pity. Their pain has caused them to become so bitter that they lash out at people that seem to represent the church they left and the reasons they left. I wish you never would have seen that 'drama whore' comment for I know that comment upset me and I wish I would have told them off but I feel I would have started even more of a war and my comment would have got deleted anyways.

Just consider those who said those things and what type of people they are. I am glad in a way they put you up on the site with a link to the Baby Center board because otherwise, I would not have found you:)

Most things you write I agree with you on. Some things we differ in opinions on but I figure it's your blog and it's written for the exact same person mine is; For my children and after I am gone.

I do enjoy your blog and reading about your kids. I have homeschooled in the past but it did not work out with trying to teach four kids at different grades at the same time but I know I will be homeschooling baby Korinne.

Please, with her epilepsy, it's not like any public school can handle it.

I also agree on the vax debate. If you want my honest opinion on where I think her epilepsy came from, it was from her vaccinations she recieved until I stopped them at 6 months.

Of course I have a black thumb and could not grow anything to save my life so I envy that aspect of your life, lol.

Well, all I have to say is keep it up. Most of us in cyberspace enjoy your blog!

Wendy

azlisa29 said...

Hey Janis, I followed a link from BBC's 'large families' board. Don't let people get you down! I understand how it feels all too well, unfortunately. IMO, the people who are being nasty to you are nothing other than jealous women. Just brush it off! ((hugs))

~Lisa...azlisa on BBC...mommy to 7