PLEASE PLEASE pray for us yet again. I cant believe it, I am in total shock.....but you guessed it, I just tested this am and another BFP. For those who remember I m/c June 10th. I felt really witchy and hungry the last few days and assumed af was coming, our bd timing wasn't anywhere close to O so this is a real shocker to say the least. I almost fell over when I tested lol. I called the dr and will be starting Progesterone today, oh joy! I am thankful to start it, but scared of how sick its gonna make me!
Update July 9th afternoon-I went out and bought a few more preggy tests. I took another and wow, huge difference in lines since just this morning. All is well, I just feel it. My lines are darker right now than they ever got with the last pregnancy that I just recently lost. This has to be a good sign. The Dr called in my Progesterone script and I go in at 4 this afternoon to pick it up and start it. The lady actually remembered me, she was such a sweetheart. All is going quite well so far. yay
July 10th update: Well I started Progesterone last night and seemed to be well. I got up this am happily ready to pee on another stick to see some even more beautiful lines than yesterday. Instead, I see faint, terrible lines. My heart is so sick. I dont understand why this keeps happening to me. I am so angry and I am trying not to be, but really I am. I have sat here the last 15 minutes in my head begging God to tell me why. What could be causing this? Nursing I wonder? Am I just not worthy enough to be a mother of 6? Does He think now is not a good time? What will the dr say now? Will he poke me some more to run tests? I am just hurting and sad. OF course bleeding hasnt begun, but I know it will in the next several days. Instead of celebrating being 4 weeks along today, I mourn and wait for newly discovered pregnancy to end once again.
July 11th update: So the pregnancy tests are still positive. I dont know what to think right now. I am asking the Dr for HCG and P testing when I call. I am hoping to get them to just draw today and again Monday. My temp was gorgeous this am, but that could be false from the P....who knows. I guess I am just praying for a miracle, but remaining realistic for my heart's sake. He is mighty above all though and I know that only He knows the outcome of this pregnancy and has good reasons for what what He does. I just pray so hard that we are able to meet this beautiful baby in March 2009. I just got off the phone with the specialist and he pushed it off on primary care to do the labwork so now I hope they will order it when I call. I swear all these protocols are ridiculous.
July 11th afternoon update: Well I just got back from doing all the bloodwork. Good news is my tests have gone totally negative so I can stop taking P and move on with the next cycle. We wont try, we dont prevent, God is sovereign and knows what is best for us and we will conceive only if it is meant to happen. As for the bloodwork, holy cow, that was insane. I almost fainted when the I saw the 10+ viles sitting there, esp when I stupidly glanced at them after they were all filled. I was tested for everything under the sun. Basically antiphospholipids, antigens, coagulating issues, you name it, I was tested for it. They also did an HCG which is probably completely negative since this afternoons tests are negative. This month is a complete repeat of last month, like to a T. If I start bleeding tomorrow than it will be exactly the same dpo that bleeding began even. Sorta weird. That tells me that whatever it is, it must be the same issue. My bets are that all is well and its simply low P. I will start P quite early next month. I am also calling to switch medical groups so I can get a new doc that believes in P before a BFP.
July 12th update: Still not bleeding, but my temp did plummet this morning and I am crampy. I am 16dpo and my tests are now completely negative. I stopped P last night and I am praying that bleeding doesnt begin until after our pool party today. I cant imagine being bogged down with bleeding and trying to help my younger 4 kids who dont know how to swim. I somehow feel better about everything today. I know its gonna be okay. I know I will eventually have a 6th child, in fact DH and I feel we are meant to be parents of 8 blessings. We have always sort of felt this way. My fertile years will run out much faster according to the medical world because of all the cysts I have so I think over the next few years, pregnancy will probably end up further and further spaced which is fine too. I am just thrilled how easily we are getting pregnant... I mean that is half the battle right? Praise God for that!
July 13th update: Well the bleeding finally began. Praise God for that. I was sick of sitting here waiting. This pregnancy lasted 1 day longer than my last, last month. I got my medical group switched and I will be seeing an excellent ob now who happens to be the same religion and has similar beleifs. That will make life much easier.