Sunday, February 28, 2010

Anyway

Is it the time of year or what? My kids have been exceptionally unruly, fist fighting and we even had an incident of Tanner cutting Kayla's finger open today! What the heck? We have had a rainy, rainy, rainy....did I mention rainy? winter this year in SoCal. I am wondering if it all the being cooped up or what is going on. This past few months we have been having our doubts about homeschooling. While I love homeschooling and I don't believe in a lot of public school philosophy, I also realize that our sanity isn't doing well lately. When I say our, I mean, the whole family. We have had issues with getting enough social outlets for the kids in our small town and quite frankly, going to the Dr or Dentist will throw the entire week off for me now with having 4 homeschoolers. Our homeschooling is very relaxed, but I also worry that they won't learn enough to be competitive in society when looking for jobs. I am noticing my kids are sort of (I hate to use this phrase) "behind." Behind what??? I dunno. Maybe its normal mama fear, but the neighbor kids seem to be more socially mature then my children to the point that it can be embarrassing. I cannot go into a store and keep my children all collected. They scatter at a full run in every direction in stores. I have gotton to a point where I don't take them in places with me unless its a real emergeny. At 9(actually Kayla does OK usually), 8, 7, 5, 2.5 and 11 months, I am thinking they should be able to walk with me like civilized people. Am I wrong? Things I once balked at in public schools, I am now thinking differently about....can we say form a line and follow?? I say this jokingly, but really I mean it. Maybe 5 years of homeschooling is coming to a point of sheer burnout. My kids do not listen to other adults, they hardly listen to me lately, they fight in the car, homeschooling, watching TV, over the computer, at the dinner table, trying to get cuddles with me, over a book, over a toy, out with the horses, while baking, its nonstop. I do mean that. Right now, Tanner and Everett are punching each other while watching Spongebob. They have been entertained ALL day and they are still bored and fighting. I am really tired. I hate to admit I am not supermom, but I'm not. Nate's about to change to a new schedule that is really going to disrupt our household and its giving me some serious second thoughts about homeschooling as well. Maybe this is just a fear and not reality, maybe it is reality>? I am not making rash decisions and maybe I am just blowing off steam......or oh my gawd......Wyatt just ate and ENTIRE container of cookies. This is the crap I am soooooo tired of. Yeah pretty much.

8 comments:

Kafeyan Family said...

You know Janis I enjoy your blog because you are incredibly honest. You know you can try them in public schools and if you or they are unhappy you can take them out. I think formal school does help people deal with being part of society. You can always supplement their academics at home if you feel they aren't getting "enough" Best of luck to you.

Kafeyan Family said...

I think formal schooling has many important purposes, and helps children learn how to function as part of society. You can always supplement their academics at home if you don't feel like they are learning enough. They will bring home their school experiences and share them with your family, it really is quite wonderful. Good luck to you.

haydon.123 said...

Remember that ALL parents homeschool! Public school is simply an extension of what we already do at home. You can continue to do all of the things you have been doing and have your kids in school as well. I have my kids in public school and have homeschooled as well and I can honestly say that public school makes our family happy! It is NOT an evil place and it does NOT mean you copped out on raising your kids!

Andrea said...

My sister does 2-3 hours of homework a night at public school (at age 12). It always ends in tears. She always comes home and tells me all the bad things that happened to her that day. Yes, she is a preteen and they all get like that. I went to the same school she did and was told many times that I should end my life because no one likes me or that I was too fat (at 120lbs) and I should stop eating. I tried both. Public school is not all bad. But if you really want your kids to live a happy life teach them at home. If you think that one of your kids might me gay, I don't think public school is the place for that. My gay friend was so hurt at school that he had to hide it. He told me once that he just wanted to stop being gay because being picked on made him want to die. I am homeschooling my kids because I want them to love themselves. I did not love myself because of school. It has been hard getting away from that.

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Crissy said...

I think all homeschooling moms, (unless they are super mom and I don't know any of those) hit a mid-year funk. I know we do. Every year in the winter I tell myself this is the last year, next year I'm shipping them off to school. :) Then fall comes around and I remember all the reasons I love homeschooling and having my kids at home. You mentioned several issues that I wanted to address: 1. you think your kids are behind acadmeically, please don't expect that sending them to public school will catch them up. I have heard from so many hs moms who have done this only to find that their kids were put in lower grades, and did not function well in a classroom setting so they slipped even farther "behind" and then were picked on because of it. You can step up your academic program at home to bring them up to where you think they should be. We use Sonlight curriculum, which has a strong emphasis on reading and not so much written work (like abeka which we tried for 3 years). Another program I reccomed is Accelerated Christian Education, however this one does teach from a Christian worldview, so it might not be for you, but the lessons come in booklets that the child completes over the course of 3 weeks and it teaches everything from the booklet so the kids learn the concepts without a lot of teacher interaction (unless needed). 2. While your kids may learn how to behave in a classroom, they may not necessarily bring those skills home with them. If they follow the rules at school it will be because the teacher expects it of them and if they don't there are consequences. Would it be possible for you to implement the same system at home? I don't know what you have tried or not tried, but charts work well for us, Behavior charts (with consequences), chore charts & school charts (with rewards). 3. If they fight with you over schooling now, then that will probably continue, only it will be a fight over homework, a fight to get them up etc. If they go to school the fighting won't go away, what will change is what you are fighting with them about.
4. As for the sibling fighting, I can't offer anything there because my own are driving me nuts with it right now. Maybe it is the time of year! If you figure it out, please post on it!! I hope something I said helps! Hang in there.
PS Have you ever read The socialization trap by Rick Boyer? It helped me to let go of the ideas that the public school way was the "right" way of doing things and that my kids needed to be "socialized" to be happy, well-adjusted kids.

lou said...

Love your honesty girl! I love the idea of homeschooling, but I know I'm a better mama when I get a little break. You've got A LOT on your plate. I makes me happy to hear you say you're not supermom... because I was really beginning to wonder ;)

Lindy S said...

hang in there Janis. I agree this time of year is tough, especially being pregnant and nauseaus (which I am at the moment also, due Nov. 17). But I also tend to awfulize and get stuck in a big picture "I can't make this work" funk if I don't counter-intuitively manage myself. Maybe have a "Spring Break" of sorts and take a week or two off to just let the kids play and burn off some energy in the sun (it might not hurt you to get some r&r time in too) and then re-evaluate after that. It's not all bad, and like as not, this brief "phase" of uncooperative kids is just that---a "phase" that you can look at and say, "this too shall pass!" :) Best of wishes to you and your family!