What IS IT

with church people? Don't take offense right away if your reading this and go to church. I am finding a regular pattern among a large amount of the church population in California(excluding the LDS church). Every church we have been in or around, there are a lot of "different" people. These people I will call UBER Christians with a very capital C. Now I am not trying to be hypocritical either, but they will tell you how Godly they are, they toss God into every sentence and tithe 20% and are proud to share about it. These people are exactly what turns me off in every church.They claim to be mega Christians and boast of their good deeds, yet they constantly chastise their "brothers" in Christ. They shun babies and children.....oh those are little things are to be shoved into a classroom and we will stare at them and smush their cheeks on our terms as you come or go from church. I THOUGHT this new church we have been going to a few months now was different, but alas, its all the same. I am done. I am not going back there either. I am just NOT a churchgoer no matter how hard I try to push myself into that box and try to be that person, its all very off putting to me. I feel rather ashamed to call myself a Christian sometimes when I am put into such strange situations with these oddball, overinflated, puffed up Christians. I'm just a sinner. I don't want to be like them. I don't want them role modeling for my kids. I just don't want anything to do with them. Nate has never/will never be a church goer. He has always gone mostly for me and the kids I think. He has never complained really, but never really pushes the issue. He sleeps in church, has no desire for fellowship with church people and just has a non chalant attitude of annoyance towards the financial intent of a lot of the Church's around here. I can't say I blame him because when you give 10% and then they invite you to a free family night dinner(happened this week) and you show up and there's a sign inside the door that says they "STRONGLY suggest a $4 donation for each plate" its discouraging. Afterwards, there was a Bible study where I attended with Maddy because I do not leave my babies in nurseries(esp not at 10 mo.s) and everyone kept staring at me and 3X they asked me if I would like to take her to nursery in front of the entire class. I was mortified. She was an angel and completely quiet. I couldn't believe it so I eventually up and left mid class and picked up my other kids with no plan for a return. So much for that. Its fine, we don't need a church and I am completely convinced that I will save myself a lot of drama and heartache by not having one or having to deal with one. I think we will be perfectly content doing our own thing.