Kenna's New Trick!

hehe, could a baby get more precious:) We all just love her to pieces! The fact that she is just always so happy really adds to her allure

Well We Found One!

Our queen bed
The stereo and some cabinet space
Bathroom
Forced a/c and Heating in each area of the trailer
The flooring
Couch folded into a bed
Dinette folds to a bed
Big fridge
The kitchen
Bunk beds

The outside 29 foot
Fleetwood Prowler
The inside
Other view facing our master bedroom
The couch as a couch!

Well we have been terribly busy. We just bought this trailer Monday morning*(at 7:30am we picked it up) and we are complete animals. We came home, drained the water system, bought a battery, cleaned it up some, packed it full and took off and went camping! We had a blast. We got home yesterday afternoon. We couldnt be happier with our purchase. Our debt could have been paid off yes, but we would have missed a lot of camping season by the time we saved up to get this next month. Besides, what is 3900 bucks, its nothin really so we will be debt free next month instead. Not to confuse, the trailer was 4,400, but the 3900 is what we are still in debt. I am so excited about our trailer though. We went exploring Tuesday and found a bunch of great, secluded yellowpost sites(free places) to take our trailer next time. This time we just stayed in a campground. We were nervous as we are novice trailer owners so we decided to stick nearby people in case we needed anything or had questions, but everything went VERY smoothly. We did perfect on water, our battery, the propane, it all worked and the kids even got a warm bath each night we were there! Very fun, this is the begining of many great memories.
I forgot to mention that my new camera arrived while we were camping. Its okay quality. It will do but I wont be buying another of this brand. I think I will stick with my samsung digimax's lol, yes that is plural, I just cant tell you how many cameras we go through.

Dave Ramsey Update

We are down to $3900 AND we have the $ saved for a travel trailer. We are looking to get one right now. So far we havent looked at one that we absolultely were in love with so we are waiting for the right deal, but we search craiglist everyday. We are picky and want one that sleeps at least 8 and is in good condition. We have seen several nice ones, but the outsides were tore up or the price was too high. The right one will come along though. We wont compromise as this will be a large cash purchase(yes we could be debt free, but we would rather get a trailer now and be debt free next month;) ) We are two paychecks away from debt free so that is exciting. We will then start working on the remodels we have planned, and start a good emergency fund in case the economy decides to dump. Thankfully, Nate's job *should* not be affected even by a disasterous economy and the way gas prices are right now, I think the economy may be headed for a disaster. Its economic warfare with the middle East in my very humble opinion. They know just how to try to destroy America, destroy our great economy....*sigh* I feel for those whose jobs arent as secure and I also remain humble knowing that there may even come a time where they may even layoff deputies, that really scares me. Well if that happens, I want to have our debt payed off, a travel trailer so that if times were really tough and we had to, we could actually live in it for a short while during a hard time like an earthquake or something. If for no other reason though, camping is something that is cheap for us to do as a family with gas prices skyrocketing the price of everything else, so I feel its really a good investment. We have so many great camping places within 2-20 minutes of our house. I will keep you updated when we do finally find the trailer we want. It definately wont cost the 500 bucks it would take to do a 1 day very MODEST trip to disneyland. It will only be the cost of food(which we have to eat anyhow) and at some places, a minimal fee for parking each night (usually 12-25 dollars). If we dont tow far, gas will remain very cheap too. That is very inexpensive for several days of fun.

A New Camera YAY

I ordered a new camera on eBay 2 days ago so it should be here sometime this week. It is a Xthinn with a 2.5 lcd screen and will hold 2 hours video recording also. Its red and ultra thin and sleek.......I am so excited to get it. So sad my other one broke, but around here, they just don't last long. I take a LOTA pictures and too many wee little hands get a hold of the cameras too. The average camera last about 6 months here. I just get them super cheap on eBay, learned that a few years ago. I will definitely be posting away tons of pics again as soon as my new camera gets here. On a totally side note, the miscarriage is complete, my HCG is back at 0 and my bleeding has stopped. I just pray that we will be blessed again and soon, but we are leaving this one to Him upstairs. We have left my fertility friend account in tact to chart my period, but nothing more. I have no sticks in my house to pee on either. Its just time to relax, have fun, enjoy my hubby and hope for a miracle. IF and WHEN my period is LATE, I will test, otherwise, we have decided early testing is useless:)

A New Day, A Better Life

The love of my life
All the kids and I camping last week

In light of the past weeks events, Nate and I have had lots of talks and lots of time to think and rethink. Looking back, I was probably interrupting Heavenly Father's plan by charting, temping and peeing on sticks. This shouldn't become a life's obsession and hasn't been up until the past ovulation when I got overly obsessive peeing on sticks to find out if we had indeed fallen pregnant this past cycle. I am putting myself back into check. I did this for 2 long years ttc Kenna and I just wont do it again. I don't like the emotional investment it encompasses. I refuse to be in that place again. I am putting this back where it should be, in His hands. I am going to keep my fertilityfriend account, but for the first time, I will ONLY use it to record my periods, nothing else really needs to be there. I will test if and only after I miss my period. I cannot be testing early and obsessing each month. Its a waste of finance and emotional energy. I am so grateful to have 5 children and a sweet baby girl who is still nursing at that. I need to count my blessings, not the blessings I do not yet have. I know in His time, we will fall pregnant again and have more children. If we do not, then it was not His will for our family. We will remain faithful and quiverful, but this just needs to be left to Him. I want to continue enjoying Kenna as I have til this past month when the "maybe I am pregnant" monster took over. I love sitting down quietly to nurse my sweet baby girl, there is nothing better in the entire world and I am forever grateful for today, for each moment. I sometimes just need a kick in the pants to remind me to enjoy my children, every ounce of their youth because I can't get today back and tomorrow may not be there. Back to my regularly scheduled enjoyment of my beautiful family. I placed the order yesterday for our Sonlight curriculum, it costed 1,000 dollars and it derailed our Dave Ramsey budget for this month, but we honestly felt our children's education was more important right now, right here, TODAY than having debt paid off tomorrow. Our debt is only 6,000 now so we are very close to being done. We have a plan to be debt free by July 15th so it is coming quick enough and as I stated in earlier posts when we decided to do this budget, we decided no matter what, our children wouldn't suffer from it. I am proud to say that we have managed to hold completely to that and still pay down debt at a phenomenal rate. It can be done, you can have the best of both. I am also excited to say we bought all our emergency readiness kits the other night at a church function so we are ready for a big quake or whatever natural disaster might hit. That too was a good reason to derail from our budget this month. I am glad to be prepared, to have good solid curriculum on its way and to be living in joy for each day and loving what is and not what could have been.

Pregnancy Updates

I will use this post to keep family and friends updated on the pregnancy for now.

June 9th--Got bloodwork back from thursday, June 5th and HCG was 9 and Progesterone was 12.5. Dr said at this point Progesterone is just fine and she is not worried at all yet. She said to quit testing and go on as a happily pregnant person so I am trying to do just that!

June 10th, todays test was barely visable. My temp had plumetted 1.4 degrees. The bleeding hit hard out of nowhere this morning. I am cramping terribly and bleeding heavy. I am so sad, but I knew in my heart and I am glad I stayed realistic. DH has been a total sweetheart. Unfortunately he has become a professional on how to help a woman through a miscarriage. He was pretty excited yesterday after the dr called and said all was well and I could see the disapointment on his face this morning. He just hugged me after I told him that I had started to bleed and told me how sorry he was and told me that I am a great woman. How lucky am I? I am so thankful to be married to him. He is really the best man I know. He just said, "Babe let's stay away from all the voodoo and quit temping and peeing on sticks, lets just have fun and make a baby." He is right so I am not ordering anymore opks or anything from anywhere. I am just gonna hang in there and wait it out to 14dpo from now on and *if* af doesnt show, I will test, otherwise, it just creates too much drama for me. Its too much heartache. It would have been easier to just not know I think. We now have a 3rd angel.

Loosing it---UPDATE***

From a line like this(sorry camera is broke, Disclaimer, THESE arent MY pictures, thats why I put line *like this and not, here is my test. I also wrote that my camera is broke. We borrowed FILS camera last week for camping so I still had it to take my last preggo pics, but we gave it back)
To a line like this

I cannot freaking beleive it. I started getting darker tests yesterday and this morning, then this afternoon, BAM, lighter....like way light. I wanna burry my head in a pillow and cry forever. I have dropped to my knees in prayer today, but I am having so much trouble praising the God who is taking this baby back away when we are so thrilled to have it be a part of our family. My heart is being literally ripped from my being. I hate infertility. Its painful. My Dr should have me already on progesterone, but no, we had to wait for results to come back(monday they will be here---which will be too late....AGAIN) and he will have now murdered our third baby. I say murder because these m/c's could have probably ALL been prevented had he simply given me progesterone sooner. Its painful to look at my kids, its painful to nurse, I am exhausted and nauseated for no reason obviously and it just hurts. I will have my bloodwork back Monday, but my guess is that I will be bleeding by then. I know nothing is for certain right now, but I just cant help but be upset. I pray the tests were crappy and the dye in that lighter one was just no good, but I dont think that is a very good chance. *sigh* Please pray for us.

Update: Well I think last nights urine was way too watered down from drinking lots of water at night. My tests this afternoon with concentrated urine gave a GORGEOUS line so we will see. I just have to wait for my bloodwork. I actually had someone comment here that I was faking this pregnancy. Honestly, are you kidding me. My whole family and friends IRL read here, why on earth would I fake a pregnancy. That is ridiculous. Please if you are toxic to me or my family, stay off this blog. This is for me and my posterity as I will be publishing my blogs once a year and keeping them as a keepsake. Why would I put lies into my blog? Seriously I am offended at the way some grown women act. Sheesh, oh and for all the doubters, heres my chart! If a person thinks I make up charts too, then well, lol whatever!!

-fertilityfriend chart has been removed by owner-

I have been charting there for almost 3 years now.

I'm PREGNANT!!!

Yes they are all positive in real life. I had to take like 15 to convince myself haha:0) This mornings are much darker

We are in awe. We tried 23 cycles for our sweet dear baby Kenna(who is only 8 months old by the way) and now, my first real post partum cycle, we find out that we are expecting. Its so suprising and wonderful and we are just over the moon. This will be baby #6 for us. We have had bloodwork drawn to check levels, but my pregnancy tests are already darker today from yesterday so we are pretty certain all is well. We are asking for prayers that we dont miscarry(we have had 2 in the past) and that baby will be healthy. We are hoping my progesterone will be high enough not to need supps, but if we do, oh well! We are just so thrilled that Heavenly Father blessed us so quickly and Kenna will have a sibling so close. We are nursing round the clock so this is truley a blessing and a surprise! Something I am really hoping for is the opportunity to tandem nurse so I am hoping to continue nursing through the pregnancy and with baby. Kenna will be around 15 months old when baby is born:) YAYYYY! We are just so thrilled.